Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Steven Colbert asked viewers to turn "Canada's History" into a crazy sex act.....

Jbro

By Jbro,
in Huddle Lounge

Recommended Posts

Jbro Newbie

Jbro

Posted
Posted

Here are a few.

First, take the Stanley Cup and fill it to the brim with maple syrup, then cut the antlers off of a moose (preferably live) and dip the ends into the maple syrup, then, while two women perform a sixty-nine on each other, you insert the moose antlers into their rectums and stand over them, masturbating and singing "God Save the Queen," being sure to end every phrase with "Eh?"

Hey man, did you hear how Stephen Colbert Canada's History-ed Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann?

Apparently they couldn't talk without shitting themselves for a full week!

The most depraved sexual act known to mankind kept as a hidden secret from Canada to preserve its' innocence. In detail, the ******** are inserted into ******* using the ******* with ******** moose antlers ****** **** ***** maple syrup **** ***** around five times ***** *** ******* until the **** ***** affectionately called "the Mounties" use **** ***** all over the ****. The resulting **** ***** *** ****** are then used as lubricant for ******** **** **** into ****** **** **** with ***** **** **** Stanley Cup.

a sexual act designed to tell a story through symbolic devices: specifically in this case, that story is the history of Canada. As an element of foreplay, the man pours some maple syrup on the woman's body, and licks it off of her abdomen, breasts, nipples, and vulva in that respective order. In honor of Samuel De Champlain's voyage by canoe through Lake Nipissing, the man rubs is penis lengthwise along the woman's vulva, and she bears down hard to spray his genitals with her urine. Then the man and woman perform oral sex on each other, burying their faces in each other's pubic hair, representing the fur trade. The man has intercourse with the woman doggy style, while slapping her buttocks vigorously, representing the French and Indian Wars. He also fists the woman's vagina; however she subsequently fists the man's anus; this exchange represents the War of 1812. After this point in history, Canada is known mostly for participatory, but not pivotal roles in world affairs. Therefore, any combination of missionary position and fingering are used to bring the woman to orgasm, representing the post-WWII prosperity of the country. Finally, the man ejaculates all over the woman's face, representing the sovereignty of Quebec.

Wife: I just feel like there isn't any excitement in our sex life, eh.

Husband: I think it's that we just don't have enough energy after all our other responsibilities, eh, the kids, work.

Marriage Counselor: Like I haven't heard that a trillion fuging times, eh!! You two should learn Canada's History like any responsible citizens would! Now get the fug out and fug!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • mrcompletely11
      Brooks RB, Placed on PUP, Out for 2025

      By mrcompletely11 · Posted

      And its two fold from there, we knew we were going to stink next year, we knew he wasnt going to play right away and we knew the 2025 rb class was absolutely fuging loaded.  So none of it made a lick of sense
    • Bear Hands
      Brooks RB, Placed on PUP, Out for 2025

      By Bear Hands · Posted

      Here for the lively debate but don’t devolve into “you don’t know the game” stuff. ..with that PSA over, I lean more to the it was a mistake camp myself.  It wasn’t a good move. Many people reference Frazier but it is was a few guys. I thought Sainristil would have been perfect for us. Although I will say, I don’t mind taking RBs high depending on the talent. It was him being injured and his talent relative to the other RBs in his tier that makes me less than thrilled about it. 
    • frankw
      Brooks RB, Placed on PUP, Out for 2025

      By frankw · Posted

      If you're insinuating Bryce Young is the only player people here have been critical of we don't even need to discuss any further because folks who have actually seen the threads knows that's factually incorrect. That's the issue and where the disconnect begins. You perceive an honest assessment and basic straightforward acknowledgment that while we can like the player on a personal level ultimately the pick was a mistake given what we know now and the other prospects that were available. None of that is the personal slight you perceive it to be. Honest discussion is not doom and gloom. If someone wants to reject the reality is front of them that is certainly their prerogative. What I'm trying to tell you is you are never going to find the dialogue you seek as long as this is your basis for the framework of discussion about our team. I'm not asking you to leave. I do believe you bring legitimate value here. I'm simply offering you an alternative if you insist on rolling out this same approach when the season rolls out. Because although optimism is high right now sooner or later we might hit a bump in the road. And conversations will likely get the opposite of glowing positivity. But that's alright. That's the rollercoaster of sports fandom. We'll survive.
×
×
  • Create New...