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Developing Situation


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#1 hepcat

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Posted 17 September 2009 - 11:53 PM

So I work with this 28 year old woman at work. She's a server, new in town, just moved from Baton Rouge. She's nice, but a little on the strange side. So the story goes, bout two weeks ago, I was chatting her up after work (we work together at a bar, I'm the cook, her the server). We have a few drinks, and I invite her back to my place to smoke a bowl, since I live very close to the bar. So we go back, she comes back to my room, and we take a few rips. After were both good and stoned, she falls down on my bed and proclaims she is tired. Here's where I make my fatal error for this occasion, I shut off the light. I start trying to put the moves on her, but she spouts out "I'm celibate" and cuts off any chance I have. So she leaves not long after.

We talked about it, sort of, at work a week or so later, and she said that she got really anxious and had to flee. But I don't know...maybe it's the age difference.

But flash to tonight, I send her a text asking how shes doing, and eventually thru a few exchanges she invites me over but says "come over...friend." I ask her what she means by that and she says "first and foremost your friend." so basically I'm not getting any. I said I'll come over, then she asks if I'm bringing my guitar. I said do you have any beer? Could I sleep there if I couldn't drive home. Then she says, "No beer. You can sleep on the couch, you got green?" Like she can use me as her bitch and not give me any lovin or anything. She was like "so you comin over" and I said "nah" and she was like "ok?". Wish I was just gunna get some.

#2 mush

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 12:16 AM

Keep working on through her terms if you have nothing better. If you play by her rules and good times keep coming you could still bang her, but if you're not in the position you won't hit it. Truth be told shes still giving your the opportunity, if you're not in the positoin you won't have the opportunity. Just take a different attitude and enjoy the ride. if it doesn't work out into what you want within the time allotted you want then you can bail, but it's not a fruitless effort yet.

Some situations take more work than others, but it's still all good in the end.

Edited by mush, 18 September 2009 - 12:18 AM.


#3 R0CKnR0LLA

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 12:28 AM

Eh, I dated a "celibate" chick before that was supposedly waiting for marriage. You can get in there eventually but it's really not worth all the time/effort/hassle.

#4 Jangler

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 12:36 AM

If you want it, must play the game and be patient. I think the "nah" was a good call though, just ignore her now and see what she does.

#5 Matt Foley

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 03:58 AM

If you are looking to get laid, why are you chasing a celibate chick?

#6 SMACKDAB

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 04:10 AM

Because it's allllllllllll about the chase man! :D

#7 Delhommey

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 07:17 AM

She's working in a bar and "celibate"?

Somebody's selling you a bag of goods.

She sounds like a pain honestly. Unless you're in a small town and she's all you got, move along.

#8 Happy Panther

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 07:28 AM

Nothing wrong with having another friend if she is fun. But I would move on especially if she is just using you for weed

#9 Ounce

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 08:29 AM

You're a friend with benefits to her (and by benefits I mean the green and not the nookie). Ignore her until she plays by your rules.

#10 Kevin Greene

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 08:35 AM

No suckee, no reefer.

#11 Kettle

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 08:38 AM

sounds like a scavenger smoker to me. the worst kind. tell her she should put 5 on it. or more if your stuff is quality.

#12 PanthaSan

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 10:20 AM

Pics? :D

Lotsa good advice here Hepcat. Some that stand out are:

Mush - Keep working on through her terms if you have nothing better. If you play by her rules and good times keep coming you could still bang her, but if you're not in the position you won't hit it. Truth be told shes still giving your the opportunity, if you're not in the positoin you won't have the opportunity. Just take a different attitude and enjoy the ride. if it doesn't work out into what you want within the time allotted you want then you can bail, but it's not a fruitless effort yet.


and...

Jangler - If you want it, must play the game and be patient. I think the "nah" was a good call though, just ignore her now and see what she does.



I say if you feel like she's just using you, be aloof. No sense in giving without getting.

Maybe because she is new in town, she is honestly looking for a friend to hang out with and you are a good choice because of the work relationship. Ask her to pay for the green every now and then, see what she says to that.

I call BS on the celibate thing. She could have been an Uber-Slut in BR and is trying not to get a label in the new town. Maybe she is just trying to see if you are patient.

Age difference? What is it and what are the ages? I don't believe in that having an adverse effect on the relationship as the current Mama-San is 28 and I'm 46.

Good luck and keep us posted.

#13 Delhommey

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 10:28 AM

Best way to be aloof?

fug. Other. Women.

If she's saying she's celibate that probably means one of three things:

1. She's religious and/or a prude - You will have to do everything in your power to hit it, and you'll regret that you did as she will feel that sleeping with you is tantamount to giving you a $50,000 loan to help you pay off your bookie and avoid certain death.

2. She's had a bad experience - Rape, boyfriend dying, bad bad breakup, abuse, whatever. Yes she will eventually break down and sleep with you. Yes, she will bring so much baggage and crazy you will again regret your decision.

3. She’s not really celibate. She’s just celibate with you. – nuff said.

Edited by Delhommey, 18 September 2009 - 10:34 AM.


#14 Scrumtrilescent

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 10:28 AM

fug playing games. If you like being used for your poo, go ahead. If you have a spine, tell her you aren't a charity.

#15 Hawk

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Posted 18 September 2009 - 10:41 AM

so, basically...she wants just to be your friend?

wow...the nerve of her!


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