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#1 Hawk

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:29 PM

this might be tinderbox material...but then I remembered, I don't care, so here it is in the lounge! Who the hell goes into the tinderbox anyway?!

I watched a couple Dateline NBC shows lately that dealt with bullying and whether or not people that bully should be held criminally responsible if the victim chooses to kill themselves.

Makes my mind go off into all sorts of thoughts, but a couple of them...

when did society become so damned sensitive? I'm 44 and I know as a fact, kids got teased in school all the time when I was young and there was no fear of suicide or criminal investigations etc...if anything, you feared getting the snot kicked out of you by a bigger brother or friend!

I'm not saying I condone bullying, I want my kids and yours to be able to go to school and have a nice environment there etc, but isn't that also part of growing up, getting teased and pushed around etc?

what are your thoughts?

#2 Darth Biscuit

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:34 PM

Bullying is bad and is a big deal. I was bullied as a kid (like around 10-11 y.o.) Once I stood up to it, it stopped...

Others aren't strong enough to stand up to it. This is one of those deals that you have to take on a case-by-case basis (as are most things imo)...

Bullies should be held responsible for their actions... however, it's a fine line to say they should be held responsible if their bullying victim kills themselves. For a person to commit suicide over it, as opposed to confiding in a parent, teacher, etc., there's certainly other issues going on with that person.

#3 Zcustom

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:38 PM

the big thing I hear from parents of school age kids is that the bullying doesn't end after the kids go home from school.

With FB and Twitter etc, bullying can be a 24/7 thing.

I think everyone was bullied at some point but there was always the respite of going home and getting away from it

#4 Hawk

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:38 PM

ya, I hear what you are saying biscuit...I too was bullied when I was younger...then I had my growth spurt and magically, the bullying stopped!!!

the cases I watched, there was no interaction from the adults/teachers...and yet, they weren't held accountable...thought that was a major flaw!

I find it very difficult thinking that what I say to you or someone else could push you so far over the line that you would take your own life without other issues etc at play.

I do think that more kids need to understand the severity of their actions though.

#5 Hawk

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:39 PM

very good point Z...and that's probably the biggest difference between the bullying my generation got compared to todays...although, I had to go home and get beat up by my older brothers instead!!!!! :)

#6 Johnny Rockets

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:42 PM

Hawk are you talking about the one last night where the girl was messing around with a couple of guys that had girlfirends and she got teamed up on by other girls at the school? I watched that and couldn't believe criminal charges were brought up on the other kids. Shame what happened to the girl, but that is normal high school stuff that is going to happen and I don't consider it bullying really.

The other one that I can think of is where the college kid secretly made a video of his roomate (who wasn't openly gay) with another guy and brodcasted it over the web. Kid threw himself off the bridge out of shame. I think his privacy right were violated and criminal charges should have been brought against him. There was evil intent there.

I think bullying needs to be stopped and controlled but some things that kids go through are part of life's growing processes and their are much deeper issues that drive them to kill themselves.

#7 Darth Biscuit

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:46 PM

ya, I hear what you are saying biscuit...I too was bullied when I was younger...then I had my growth spurt and magically, the bullying stopped!!!

the cases I watched, there was no interaction from the adults/teachers...and yet, they weren't held accountable...thought that was a major flaw!

I find it very difficult thinking that what I say to you or someone else could push you so far over the line that you would take your own life without other issues etc at play.

I do think that more kids need to understand the severity of their actions though.


I agree about kids being taught the severity of their actions no doubt. If one of my boys were being bullied, I would (and have) encouraged them to discuss it with the teacher/principal and see if it's dealt with... then I would get involved. If it was a situation outside of school, I would get involved with the kids parents.

I've told my boys that if someone is talking to you... ignore them... if someone touches you, tell them to stop... if they do it again, tell the teacher... if they do it after that, punch them in the nose and I'll deal with the consequences for them.

#8 NCstoner420

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:49 PM

I was a bully until the 7th grade then one night I couldn't sleep and I realized how much of a jerk I was so I became an anti-bully. Over the next few years I got into countless fights taking up for other people until we didn't have much of a bully problem. Even when transferring to a new school halfway through high school I took my same feelings and stood up for anyone that I saw being bullied.

#9 Hawk

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:57 PM

those are the same two shows I was thinking about JR.

#10 Hawk

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 02:59 PM

it's a funny line isn't it....in my day, you got picked on more if you told the teacher...and probably beaten up after school....nowadays, we fully expect our kids to involve a teacher or someone...there's so much more awareness etc these days. Social media obviously plays a huge part in all of it.

#11 Johnny Rockets

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 03:03 PM

those are the same two shows I was thinking about JR.


Well I watched them while peeking through your window so that would make sense. Nice TV by the way.

#12 Hawk

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 03:09 PM

thanks...sorry I wasn't in the basement where the big tv is!!!

#13 Inimicus

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 03:10 PM

I think I’m probably one of the few parents who think the mantra that "Violence doesn’t solve anything/Fighting is not a solution to any problem" has gone too far.

I was bullied from the time I was about 12 until I broke another kids nose in high school. Then it stopped.

Bullies will never "get it". They won’t wake up one morning and think "wow my actions might have very serious long term effects".

The only way to make them stop is with a baseball bat. Or at the very least a healthy fear of that very same bat.

#14 Epistaxis

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 03:15 PM

I never got bullied, and certainly never bullied anyone.

But I do remember being made fun of and making fun of other kids, mercilessly.

Is making fun of someone bullying?

Or do you actually have to have physical violence?

Shooting off your mouth, and being able to return the favor is part of growing up IMO.

If anyone actually laid hands on my kids, or heard that my kids were doing that, well, I'm getting involved to some degree.

The flapping of gums? Not so much. Learn to take it. Learn to dish it out. And learn to leave it at that and not escalate.

#15 Inimicus

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Posted 02 April 2012 - 03:36 PM

Point of clarification-
I'm not advocating kids beat each other up or that fighting is the best way to solve anything.

However in the specific case of bullying, I in fact believe that proportional violence is the only solution. It’s the only thing the pack of jackals will respond to.


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