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What would you tell the eight year-old you?

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Posted

Ignore women.

If one of 'em wants to come along for the ride, so be it, but do not let one interfere with your life plan.

And that would be 1980...soooo bet on US hockey to beat the USSR and eventually win the gold.

Bet everything your parents own.

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Posted

That's all? You wouldn't tell yourself about the packages of illegal substances delivered to your door?

assuming that I would have followed a different path to finish HS, I wouldn't have still been moving into that house a few years ago.

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Posted

I'd tell me Santa Claus is still real, dammit. Don't stop believin' and punch those assmonkeys in 3rd grade in the scrotum who try to tell you otherwise.

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Posted

At 8 I'm not sure that you could remember much of this stuff.'

I would probably say to be nicer to your younger brother, he is the only one you have and will have a much tougher life than you will. Try to be there for him as much as possible over the next 20 years.

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Posted

Keep listening to your Mom.

Your Father's a prick! Don't live your life to try and impress him. YOU NEVER WILL!

I know you're only 8, but trust me on this. Our sister is HAWT! She will always have HAWT girlfriends. Don't act like a dweeb around them. Try and act older than she is, at least when they are around!

I DO NOT under any circumstances date Co-workers. It never turns out good!

DO get into real estate when you leave IBM.

DO get picked up by the woman at the Food court at Mid-Town Plaza! (Who cares if she was married!)

DO NOT get involved with anyone named Deb!

It's 50/50 dating a girls named Cathy/Kathy!

Lastly; Real Men DO Cry. Especially at their Mom's funeral. (In spite of what your Father ever told you! (See #2 above!))

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Posted

Don't get tattoos...you'll eventually hate them and then spend a ton getting rid of them

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Posted

tell your family that grandpa is a sick and evil man and youre not going to betray anybody by being honest and telling the truth.

also, ask your dad if he remembers that girl.....the one he hooked up with before meeting your mom. When he remembers her, say you have another child and that its very important to me that we know about each other.

Be more patient with your mom....she was young and had to grow up while being a single mom at the same time.

Be yourself and dont feel bad about it ever, its all good.

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Posted

The reason that the hot blond named Cindy is good at giving head is not because she really loves you, its because she has had a lot of practice.

Here are the winners of the next 10 Superbowls. Bet, make a lot of money and use it to buy a lot of stock in internet companies, but sell it all in 1998. Then buy a lot of real estate in California and Nevada and sell it all in 2006. Live your life in comfort. :)

Of course, I would have to explain what the internet is.

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Posted

don't believe what your mother tells you...you won't go blind at all....stroke the hell out of it...as often as you want

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Posted

Never post on the huddle..... It's a trap!!!

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