i have a gym membership and i love working out, but with 60 hours a week at work, full-time school, grad school prep, and a friggin 4-month-old there are simply not enough hours in the day to do anything extracurricular.
i really need to start eating better too but god damn if i don't just love sour cream on everything.
So basically as it all turns out, you're the out of shape loser with no life and poor diet. So all your little stories you made up were actually just personal stories of yours? Interesting!
Now that I think about it, looking a your pics it looks like you're using the sex with dog story on multiple people. I just thought you had zero originality and were recycling the same elementary school zingers, now I am starting to wonder...... you wouldn't happen to have a dog by any chance?