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Anger: how to deal.


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#1 P.I.A

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:15 PM

How do you guys deal with anger? Because right now I'm filled with a deep seething anger that came from nowhere. This is going to hurt my attitude and relationships. How do you deal with this kind of rage? I'm in a different environment with new and extreme challenges and I'm having a hard time coping.

F*ck

#2 PhillyB

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:22 PM

How do you guys deal with anger? Because right now I'm filled with a deep seething anger that came from nowhere. This is going to hurt my attitude and relationships. How do you deal with this kind of rage? I'm in a different environment with new and extreme challenges and I'm having a hard time coping.

F*ck

 

IMO no seething anger comes from nowhere.

 

maybe the first thing to do is try to root it out and figure out where it's coming from. treat the cause, not the symptom



#3 P.I.A

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:26 PM

IMO no seething anger comes from nowhere.

maybe the first thing to do is try to root it out and figure out where it's coming from. treat the cause, not the symptom

I can name a few sources. But confronting those sources only makes me angrier. I don't get angry easily and I'm surprising myself right now.

#4 iamcline

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:29 PM

When I'm angry, I remove unwanted furniture from my house.  It's a healthy and (sometimes) productive way to express myself.



#5 BBQ&Beer

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:30 PM

You got access to a heavy bag? I tend to just hammer mine til I can't lift my arms.



#6 P.I.A

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:30 PM

When I'm angry, I remove unwanted furniture from my house. It's a healthy and (sometimes) productive way to express myself.

I just broke my ACH by throwing it. I know how you feel.

#7 P.I.A

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:31 PM

When I'm angry, I remove unwanted furniture from my house. It's a healthy and (sometimes) productive way to express myself.

It's not productive.
Edit: for me

#8 P.I.A

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:34 PM

You got access to a heavy bag? I tend to just hammer mine til I can't lift my arms.

I'm going to hurt the weights tonight.

#9 PhillyB

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:37 PM

I can name a few sources. But confronting those sources only makes me angrier. I don't get angry easily and I'm surprising myself right now.

 

so it's related to people then? is it people actively involved in your life currently?

 

i'm no counselor so i'm just throwing exploratory questions out there. it's good you're seeking an outlet through which to discuss it and get multiple sources of input, i think it's far too easy to either internalize these sorts of things or go to a source of advice/counsel that may or may not be qualified to adequately advise you (either through a biased understanding of your situation [like knowing those people who are the problem] or by simply not knowing them, or you, very well at all.)

 

do you enjoy writing? i have found that by far the best outlet for me to work through issues is to sit down and write. not type, but write. i have a dozen or so thick journals that i've filled up over the past decade with everything i've ever gone through. writing with any consistency takes time, and therefore commitment, but the act of sitting down in the middle of my busy life and clearing my mind has allowed me to confront things that i'd never really given due diligence to. getting things down on paper in front of me has often allowed my to analyze them right then and there; i think some of my greatest epiphanies in life have come from a quiet place, journal open, furiously scrawling my anger, pain, joy, hate, failure, success, dreams, meandering thoughts, ideas, despair, interpersonal relationships, insecurities, girls, philosophical conundrums... and on and on the list goes. i recognize now that's it's been instrumentally therapeutic for me throughout my adult life.

 

maybe it would be helpful for you as well



#10 Hawk

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:49 PM

I go out to the garage and clean....luckily, there's never a shortage of things to clean whether it's wash the garage floor or a vehicle or two, sometimes it's organzing tools...there's always something and it's always quiet out there other than the classic rock on the radio.  I find it very soothing and generally productive.



#11 P.I.A

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:53 PM

so it's related to people then? is it people actively involved in your life currently?

i'm no counselor so i'm just throwing exploratory questions out there. it's good you're seeking an outlet through which to discuss it and get multiple sources of input, i think it's far too easy to either internalize these sorts of things or go to a source of advice/counsel that may or may not be qualified to adequately advise you (either through a biased understanding of your situation [like knowing those people who are the problem] or by simply not knowing them, or you, very well at all.)

do you enjoy writing? i have found that by far the best outlet for me to work through issues is to sit down and write. not type, but write. i have a dozen or so thick journals that i've filled up over the past decade with everything i've ever gone through. writing with any consistency takes time, and therefore commitment, but the act of sitting down in the middle of my busy life and clearing my mind has allowed me to confront things that i'd never really given due diligence to. getting things down on paper in front of me has often allowed my to analyze them right then and there; i think some of my greatest epiphanies in life have come from a quiet place, journal open, furiously scrawling my anger, pain, joy, hate, failure, success, dreams, meandering thoughts, ideas, despair, interpersonal relationships, insecurities, girls, philosophical conundrums... and on and on the list goes. i recognize now that's it's been instrumentally therapeutic for me throughout my adult life.

maybe it would be helpful for you as well

I'll just be straight up. I'm in a weird situation in life called adulthood. I'm only 22 with the (perceived) weight of the world on my shoulders. I've got a girlfriend I want to marry but with strict limitations on that happening. I'm overfugingseas right now with a responsibility to not only keep myself alive but my idiot soldiers alive as well as well as the stress of treating people who hate me because of what the soldiers before me have done to them, better than the people here. I've got questions and doubts and fears circling in my brain about finishing school that's dragged itself on for a damn century and questions about the religion I've been following my entire life and friends who are fuging cocks who don't even take the time of day to ask how the hell I'm doing. I could list a thousand other bitches and gripes but it won't do any good. Life hit me hard. And there isn't really anyone who understands. That's it I guess.

#12 Hawk

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 05:58 PM

not sure why you think nobody understands?  do you talk with your fellow soldiers over there...I'm sure alot of them are going through the same things.  Verbalization of what is troubling us can be a very powerful tool...just getting them out of the brain and into the air can minimize the impact of some issues and with any luck, sharing the important ones can hopefully get you some insight in how to deal with them.

 

never expect that nobody else knows how you feel...chances are, similar people in similar circumstance are suffering from similar issues.



#13 P.I.A

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 06:03 PM

not sure why you think nobody understands? do you talk with your fellow soldiers over there...I'm sure alot of them are going through the same things. Verbalization of what is troubling us can be a very powerful tool...just getting them out of the brain and into the air can minimize the impact of some issues and with any luck, sharing the important ones can hopefully get you some insight in how to deal with them.

never expect that nobody else knows how you feel...chances are, similar people in similar circumstance are suffering from similar issues.

I do think people understand. That was an inappropriate thing for me to say. I do talk to my buddies but they don't seem to really care. I feel like I'm supposed to hold back my feelings and it freaking blows because I'm supposed to be the strong SGT. Sorry I had to fugging blab about problems on here. It's just been a hard couple of months.

#14 P.I.A

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 06:04 PM

I guess the anger comes from the pent up emotions like phillyb said and you (hawk) said as well.

#15 Hawk

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Posted 04 November 2013 - 06:05 PM

never be sorry about venting....considering the alternatives...venting is a great thing to do!  you are certainly in a tough spot...but even the strongest of the strong need to vent or need a shoulder every now and then....wouldn't be human of you otherwise. 




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