Here, have a somewhat cynical mock with memes or whatever..

[Jakob]

Round 1 TE - OJ Howard

You like Greg Olsen? Here, have another one. it was extremely hard not to slot Christian McCaffrey here. We all probably know who we "think" the pick is, but most of us will be feeling like this when DG makes the pick:

 

 

Round 2 RB - Alvin Kamara

Runs AND catches, folks. You people really seem to like that.

Round 2 DE - Tanoh Kpassagnon

Many scouts will tell you that Tanoh is a great edge prospect, but what the experts won't tell you is how fun it is to say Tawn-oh pass-N-yo. Every batted pass we can say "was that quarterback pass-N-yo?"

 

Round 3 WR - Taywan Taylor

He reminds me of Stefon Diggs. Stefon Diggs isn't too bad at football.

Look. AT. Them. Hands. 

Round 4 G - Dorian Johnson

 

Round 5 WR - Ryan Switzer

I am a huge UNC homer and this guy is an absolute stud and my reasoning for wanting him has totally has nothing to with my UNC fandom. Did I mention he is one of the most prolific punt returners in NCAA history? Also, let us not forget that the Tarheels are currently world champions.

 

Round 6 K - Zane Gonzalez

Zane fuging Gonzalez. Not only is he an amazing kicker, he's an ace for kicks over 50 yards and this the round where really good kickers are taken. Unlike the Bucs who jumped in front of us to take a bust kicker in the second round.

Just tell me this isn't the face of success:

 

Round 7 WR - Robert Davis

I could tell you all about Robert Davis's college career, but the important part is this guy shares genes with Thomas fuging Davis. He probably eats rocks and stalks Jimmy Graham in his down time.

 

[Swagitude]

I hope we draft Jamal Adams. Whichever team drafts him is gnna be so lucky


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