Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

The Maid

Jangler

By Jangler,
in Huddle Lounge

Recommended Posts

Jangler Newbie

Jangler

Posted
Posted

http://www.omaha.com/article/20100529/NEWS01/705299813

An Omaha woman offers a different uniform while she cleans house: topless, bottomless or fully nude.

This week, a brochure advertising those services was distributed in the neighborhood near 83rd and Burt Streets.

The business, ODD'Z & EN'Z Janitorial & More, advertises “house cleaning and more . . . in plain or exotic professional attire,” as well as cooking services and child care, according to the flier.

House cleaning by a nude maid starts at $125, according to the flier. Nude cleaning with “satisfaction” is $175.

Carroll said she also offers her services as entertainment for bachelor and bachelorette, birthday and graduation parties. In addition, she offers private shows.

Jerry's maid exits from his bedroom and walks over to the kitchen.

ELAINE (whispering): Why did you get a maid?

JERRY: You don't have to whisper. She knows she's a maid.

ELAINE: Where did you get her?

JERRY: I hired her from a service!

MAID: All done.

JERRY: Thank you. Nice job.

MAID: Is this mine?

JERRY: Yeah.

The maid leaves Jerry's apartment. Elaine smiles at Jerry.

JERRY: What?

ELAINE: Come on, Jerry. You didn't notice?

JERRY: Notice what? She's not really even a maid.

ELAINE: Oh.

JERRY: She wants to be an actress...or a, uh, model...or a dancer...or a...news woman.

ELAINE: Uh-huh. News woman. Yeah.

_________________________________

ELAINE: All right! You're foolin' around with your maid. That is a wise decision.

JERRY: Elaine, do you think I would go willy-nilly into a situation so obviously fraught with potential complications?

ELAINE: You are paying a woman to come to your house and sleep with you.

JERRY: No. I pay her to clean. The rest is--

ELAINE: What? A health plan?

JERRY: I was going to say, "Being a good host."

ELAINE: Oh-ho-ho. Oh.

JERRY: But the point is we have our personal relationship, and we have our work relationship. They're separate and, I think, some what sophisticated.

ELAINE: So you consider this a relationship?

JERRY: Yes, I do.

_________________________________

JERRY: Where you goin'?

KRAMER: Huh? Well, I'm gettin' out of town. I'm gonna visit Madeline for the weekend. You know, this place is lookin' kinda messy. What happened to Cindy?

JERRY: Well, she's here. She just didn't get around to it.

KRAMER: Oh.

Cindy comes from Jerry's bedroom.

CINDY: Hi, Kramer.

She picks up her money from the counter.

CINDY: Thanks, Jerry. Bye.

She leaves.

KRAMER: Well, what's the matter?

JERRY: What did I just pay for?

KRAMER: Uh-oh. You're a john.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • LinvilleGorge
      Maxx Crosby is not happy

      By LinvilleGorge · Posted

      Bingo. The dude is a baller no doubt and I'd love to have him in a vacuum but like you said he's gonna fetch a haul so the only teams it really makes sense for are teams with an overall good roster who they feel an edge rusher like Crosby would out them over the top in terms of competing for SBs. I'd be looking st teams like the Pats, Bucs, Ravens, Seahawks, etc. It wouldn't be shocking to see him moved. He may be more valuable to a rebuilding team in the form of the draft assets he'd fetch than he is on the field. He should still have several more good years in the tank at 28 but by the time the Raiders can reasonably expect to rebuild he's gonna be on the decline.
    • kungfoodude
      Maxx Crosby is not happy

      By kungfoodude · Posted

      Crosby will garner a haul in a trade. I would be reluctant to make that trade because of the following: 1. Our overall roster is awful. We cannot afford to be trading away valuable draft capital. 2. He isn't the best fit(IMO) for the scheme that Evero runs.  I love the player but it would really need to be at a reasonable deal and I think he is likely to garner an unreasonable price if he gets traded.
    • kungfoodude
      BREAKING NEWS: Trevin Wallace out for the year

      By kungfoodude · Posted

      In terms of need, EDGE is currently #1. Our pass rush is near league worst levels. However, I don't subscribe to "need" based drafting. BPA all day.  We do need to dramatically upgrade over Scourton, Jones, Wonnum and Umanmielen. That is likely in the running for the NFL's worst two deep. Not saying all those players are bad, but I am saying 100% of those players are 2nd or 3rd stringers.
×
×
  • Create New...