Mine personally would be a Monday night game we played against them in 2000. First MNF game I went to and I remember seeing Dennis Miller and Dan Fouts in the booth. Just so happens Brad Hoover had the game of his life and we won 31-14.
After throwing a touchdown Brett ugly Favre did the "suck it" hand gesture to the crowd. Since that moment I've hated that little prick.
I doubt Martin was forthright with Incognito about his issues. It can be frustrating to work with/be friends with people that do shitty things that you don't understand. IMO Incognito was likely trying to do the right thing for Martin and for the team, After trying many times to reach out to Martin and help him eventually said and/or did regrettable things out of said frustration. I know that I've said some pretty harsh things to people I cared about because I cared about them. If you don't care about someone you don't bother.