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Brokenbad, December 17, 2009
Posted December 17, 2009
I once covertly cropdusted while walking through a mall with my wife and a friend...
They were alongside me, and we were moving at a pretty good pace...
The hilarious part and the thing that gave me away was this group of loud obnoxious teenagers were behind us a little ways... We had stopped for a moment shortly after I did the deed, and one of the teenagers walked by us with a look of disgust towards his friends and simply said...
"Someone's gonna die!"...
I was so proud... although, I don't remember what I had eaten... It was probably a Sbarros pepperoni roll or something else greasy and meaty like that...
As far as what makes mine the worst? Anything greasy or meaty... Beef Jerky... Fast Food... Pizza... etc...
7 hours of sleep.
This will guarantee that someone will puke.
Beer must be consumed during the entire eating process.
Eat an appetizer of some buffalo wings...not so hot as it gives the false heat impression that you might shart yourself.
Start with french onion soup. Pasta Fajole, minestrone, or lentil soup could be substitooted (hehe...like that?), but it doesn't have the bite the french onion does.
Salad too. (no way I can eat this much food, but if you can...this'll do it)
Eat a well done steak (I eat mine medium but the well done will force your stomach to produce more acid to break down the overdoneness)...with some broccoli on the side. Remember to keep drinking the beer...not light beer. I'm talking Sam Adams Winter Lager style.
When you wake in the morning...and have forgotten the mixture that has been perculating in your belly and release a fart in the shower. The steam rising will drive it up to you and you may just pass out from the bite of the fart. Abstain taking a poop for as long as you can. This is the fuel to your fire.
WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO LIGHT THESE AS THEY REQUIRE PROFESSIONAL SUPERVISION
A guy I used to work with was a body builder. He consumed baby food 2 to 3 times a day "because all the protein, kid". We would be working down in the tunnels under certain Gov't buildings with no where to go, nand this dude would let out some SBD's that made multiple people hurl. That smell would make me lose my lunch and it only got worse as the day went on...
Posted December 18, 2009
I don't think I have ever puked from smelling a fart. Some of yall have weak stomachs. If I smell a nasty fart and I know who did it, I normally just get mad and punch them in the shoulder or something. Puking is a man foul.
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