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So I woke up today and I couldn't find my keys. So I decided to ask Google where my keys are since it seems to know everything. Here's how it went.

me: where are...

Google: where are all my bitches at?

me: no, well yes, but right now I want to know where are my...

Google: where are my pants?

Me: no, well on second thought... wait, no, dammit Google stop suggesting things. I just want to know where in the hell..

Google: where in the hell is the closest STD testing location?

me: Touche Google, touche... I am actually looking for my keys though

Google: they are in your pants that you left at that bitches house last night. she is not home though, she is currently getting tested for an STD.

me: What?!!

Google: would you like to know where the hell the closest STD testing location is?

me: well played Google, well played...

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