Jump to content




Photo
- - - - -

sad news (not panther related)


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
35 replies to this topic

#25 The Saltman

The Saltman

    I am always watching so make sure you keep your clothes on

  • Joined: 24-November 08
  • posts: -52,074
  • Reputation: 1,035
Moderators

Posted 24 May 2010 - 11:07 AM

sorry to hear

#26 pnthrfrk

pnthrfrk

    Member

  • Joined: 03-December 08
  • PipPip
  • posts: 79
  • Reputation: 21
ROOKIE

Posted 24 May 2010 - 11:56 AM

thanks for all the words of encouragement everyone. i think we are both coping well. we've accepted the fact that it was out of our control and that tragedies like this can only make you stronger. it makes our 2 year anniversary today a little bit hard to celebrate but i think we're on the right path. even though most of the tears are cried out, you can't help but shed a few when no one is looking. just like everything, time will help heal the wounds although the scar will remain. everything happens for a reason and i know one day we'll find out what god's plan is. Michael is now our baby guardian angel...

BTW where does your last name come from?


i'm filipino

#27 Hawk

Hawk

    Banned

  • Joined: 24-November 08
  • posts: 15,750
  • Reputation: 2,200
Moderators

Posted 24 May 2010 - 09:54 PM

been there, done that...but still very sorry to hear it.

Just make sure you emphasize to her that it wasn't her fault and there was nothing she could have done differently to avoid it.

#28 Mr. Scot

Mr. Scot

    Football Historian

  • Joined: 25-November 08
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • posts: 48,724
  • Reputation: 16,148
HUDDLER

Posted 24 May 2010 - 11:39 PM

Prayers from me.

Two of my closest friends had their first child be stillborn, and followed a year later with a miscarriage. The pain they went through was awful, but they now have four happy, healthy kids.

My buddy says the hardest thing for him was not being able to comfort his wife, no matter how hard he tried. He ultimately just had to let her grieve.

There are some things we men can just never understand. Being men, our instinct is to "fix" what's wrong, but some things just aren't "fixable".

#29 g5jamz

g5jamz

    Is back

  • Joined: 17-March 09
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • posts: 19,303
  • Reputation: 483
HUDDLER

Posted 24 May 2010 - 11:46 PM

Prayers from me.

Two of my closest friends had their first child be stillborn, and followed a year later with a miscarriage. The pain they went through was awful, but they now have four happy, healthy kids.

My buddy says the hardest thing for him was not being able to comfort his wife, no matter how hard he tried. He ultimately just had to let her grieve.

There are some things we men can just never understand. Being men, our instinct is to "fix" what's wrong, but some things just aren't "fixable".


Take from what Mr. Scot is saying...your wife grieves one way...you grieve another. Best piece of advice I can ever offer anyone, because we went through two miscarriages and then lost twin girls at birth (premature labor)...is that if you and your wife get angry at one another throughout any of this, just sit down and be honest with your feelings. Tell her you have to deal with it the way you deal with it (but don't be destructive or fall into any addiction), and that you will help her in anyway she needs. It's a matter of being there, not being lectured on how YOU'RE supposed to feel.

#30 pnthrfrk

pnthrfrk

    Member

  • Joined: 03-December 08
  • PipPip
  • posts: 79
  • Reputation: 21
ROOKIE

Posted 25 May 2010 - 11:21 AM

My buddy says the hardest thing for him was not being able to comfort his wife, no matter how hard he tried. He ultimately just had to let her grieve.

There are some things we men can just never understand. Being men, our instinct is to "fix" what's wrong, but some things just aren't "fixable".


this is definitely what kills me. not being able to be in control of the situation. when we first learned we would not be able to save him it was like getting punched in the stomach but there's no way to defend yourself and no one to swing back at. as a husband you take comfort on being able to provide and protect your family. it's almost like being hypocrytical. seeing her cry, telling her to be strong and to not let herself become too overwhelmed only to breakdown yourself when she's not looking. i can't even imagine what she was feeling knowing he would soon pass but still feel him kick and move around inside. the pain we felt when we were initially informed that we had to start weighing our options on what to do with his remains. seriously talking about funeral arrangements for your child while he/she still has a heartbeat is the kind of pain i would never wish upon any loving parent. it has definitely been an emotional roller coaster. we can take comfort in knowing that we still have each other, a beautiful, healthy 15 month old daughter that is definitely giving us strength with her smiles and laughter,and strong support from our family and friends. we will make it through this. we love u Michael, you will always be remembered.

#31 bigdog10

bigdog10

    Senior Member

  • Joined: 26-November 08
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • posts: 2,753
  • Reputation: 823
HUDDLER

Posted 25 May 2010 - 05:14 PM

So sorry man.

#32 dimbee

dimbee

    Rabble Rouser

  • Joined: 25-November 08
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • posts: 7,915
  • Reputation: 76
HUDDLER

Posted 25 May 2010 - 05:26 PM

I'm very sorry to hear that, friend. My heart goes out to you and your wife and child and Michael, may he rest in peace. Take care.

-Dave

#33 PanthaSan

PanthaSan

    Sith Bewbie Padawan....

  • Joined: 25-November 08
  • posts: 6,866
  • Reputation: 253
SUPPORTER

Posted 25 May 2010 - 05:29 PM

Sorry to hear that, Bro. Mama-San and I went through that but we leaned on eachother and got through it. We have had one son since and are expecting Pantha-San #9.

I beleive that miscarriages and still born babies are how angels are made.....

#34 Hawk

Hawk

    Banned

  • Joined: 24-November 08
  • posts: 15,750
  • Reputation: 2,200
Moderators

Posted 26 May 2010 - 09:08 AM

it's alot more common than you would ever think as well, and I am sure anyone that has gone through it has heard from many of their friends and family members about someone that has had to go through it. Makes you appreciate the miracle it truly is when everything does go all right!

#35 The Saltman

The Saltman

    I am always watching so make sure you keep your clothes on

  • Joined: 24-November 08
  • posts: -52,074
  • Reputation: 1,035
Moderators

Posted 26 May 2010 - 09:09 AM

Sorry to hear that, Bro. Mama-San and I went through that but we leaned on eachother and got through it. We have had one son since and are expecting Pantha-San #9.

I beleive that miscarriages and still born babies are how angels are made.....


#9? holy chromoly man...u need to donate ure sperm and make some dough...

ps. sorry to get off topic and hope u guys can get through these hard times.

#36 Samuel L. Jackson

Samuel L. Jackson

    Banned

  • Joined: 26-November 08
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • posts: 7,407
  • Reputation: 1
Banned

Posted 26 May 2010 - 09:41 AM

I was also going to add to the stuff I said earlier...

Wifey and I were going through a rough time in our marriage a while back... We had made progress, and she had gotten pregnant (which was something both of us had been trying to do, and ultimately was probably contributing to said rough times)... We found out shortly after that it was tubal, and her body was naturally ridding itself of the pregnancy... 7 months later (now 26 weeks along) we found out she was pregnant again...

I know it wasn't as far along as what you are going through, but the point is, as much as it sucked and as much as it hurt, it brought us closer to each other in the end... It could have plunged us both back to where we were before, but it was a blessing in disguise, as morbid as that sounds...

So, keep your heads up and try not to dwell on it... Be there for each other, and this tough time will pass... Let it reinforce your bonds with each other and your other child...