This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


Truths for Mature Humans (You've probably seen this)

8 posts in this topic

BUT, I thought it was hilarious so I am going to post it

Truths For Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear

your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you

realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I

don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod

and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still

not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car

keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the

Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button

from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every


24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

2 people like this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Loved the first 6.

Hopefully my bro has my back for #1.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

# fugging 23. eyes complete shut, I spring up, shut it off, and lay right back down in 1 swift motion. its like an art

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you die in the military, someone (Buddy or Officer) goes through your belongings to "sanitize" them. You don't want pics of that girl/hooker you met on R & R to get back to your wife or GF!

I had a really good Girlfriend. When we would start to argue over something, she always brought up some obscure sports fact. I would spend 20 minutes going on about it. By then, I forgot we were arguing. Then about 20-30 minutes later, I would come back to her and say, "We were arguing."

She look sheepishly at me, "We were, but you won. Like you always do."

I'd go away happy.

It was either that, or she pull up her shirt and flash her breasts at me (She had nice firm breasts and never wore a bra!) I always forgot what we were about to argue about!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Posts

    • Is this dude a real life person or an alt of @GOOGLE JIM BOB COOTER that is a living joke exemplifying the white culture thread? 
    • lol no one takes him seriously. He gets a courage award for bringing his hand-me-down  dad-politics into ttb while still asking to himself, "what does ttb mean again?"
    • I'm extremely pumped by this addition. It has to be the biggest addition since the team came back to Charlotte. I was too young to follow the original talented Hornets (Im sad), so I'm not going back that far. People and fans can say what they want about D12, but the man still have a lot left in his tank. And, Im tired of hearing how he doesnt fit in today's game anymore. There are only a handfull of big men today that I can really say, can shoot the ball: Davis, Towns, Embiid, Cousins and Aldridge.  Howard can still dominate! That's all that matters. The only neg I will give Howard is that I do see a lack of desire/effort to play at times. But, I believe MJ can help motivate him back to being a dominant big man again for next two years here.  Dwight Howard averaged a double-double last season: 13.5 ppg, 12.7 rpg, 1.2 bpg, and 1.4 apg.  D12 had "53", I said FIFTY-THREE double doubles last season. He had six games where he averaged 20 rebounds or more.  Guess who was the last Bobcats/Hornets era to even come close to that number.....Emeka Okafor in 2004 as a rookie with 47 double doubles (35.6 MPG). Then Big Al had 42 in 2013 (35.0 MPG). Howard did that while averaging 29.7 min per game. If you count out his 2014 season where he only played in 41 games, last season was the LEAST amount of minutes played per game in Howard's career.  Only three guys (Towns, Whiteside and Gobert) averaged more double doubles than Howard in 2016. And only four other guys ( Whiteside, Drummond, DJordan and Gobert) averaged more RPG than Howard last season. Other than Towns, none of those guys mentioned above can really shoot the ball any better than Howard. But, teams still want them on their teams for big contracts.    D12 will be a beast this upcoming season!