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SmootsTalks

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Basically there are a few points of contention between fans and the new coaching staff, and it's my job to tell you all how dumb you are for having opinions that I don't like. You are welcome in advance.

1. OMG WE SIGNED DEREK ANDERSON RAAAAAAAGE WE SHOULD HAVE KEPT MOORE.

Firstly, you guys should be thrilled that we finally signed a neckbeard QB. Now you all have someone to identify with.

Secondly, Moore has never seen Chud's playbook before. Anderson has. So, with suckage being equal, Anderson wins.

"BUT BUT BUT HE'S IMMATURE AND NOT A LEADER. AND HE'S A DUMB REDNECK HE CAN'T TEACH ANYONE ANYTHING."

Well, slingblade, why do you think he can't help our young QBs learn Chud's offense? After all, Chud has to help the ENTIRE offense learn his playbook, he can't just coddle the QBs, no matter how important they are. Having someone else on the roster who can focus solely on the quarterbacks is a good thing.

"WELL HE GOT MAD IN AN INTERVIEW!!!!"

Not sure whether or not you've noticed, but living in Arizona apparently makes you go batpoo insane. Also, the reporter was being a retard. If I laugh at someone talking about a quirk my grandmother had at her funeral, it doesn't mean I'm happy she's dead or some poo. Essentially, the reporter was insinuating that Anderson liked playing like crap because there was one shot of him laughing, which is horsepoo. I kind of liked his reaction, tbh. It actually showed that he DOES care about sucking. Better than not caring. (lol Matt Moore)

Basically, you all have no LEGITIMATE reason to believe Anderson can't help Cam and Jimmy learn the offense. And if you're simply worried that we're going to ask him to start, don't be. Cam would have to be struggling worse than grits trying to keep his boner from showing while wearing sweatpants at a junior high school for Derek to start. More than likely, Anderson was told that his role will be to teach the young guys and have an outside chance at starting on opening day against the team who cut him. At this point in his career, that's probably about as good as he could hope for.

2. WE HAVE NO #2 CB RAGE RAGE RAGE

This is somewhat disconcerting to me as well. But the fact is, we paid Gamble #1 money, which means we're not going to pay another CB that kind of cash, even if he's actually better than Gamble and could be our top CB. That's why we haven't signed Aso, Joseph, Cromartie, and, realistically, probably not Rogers either. They all got or want(ed) too much money for our tastes. That means we sure as poo aren't going to trade for Samuel. We'd get raped and then have to pay him a fugton of money.

So, what are we going to do?

Well, at this point, Rivera seems to be taking a wait and see approach. They haven't even practiced in pads with full contact yet, so it's POSSIBLE he really doesn't know yet if we even need to spend big on a FA CB. If we DO end up getting someone, it's going to either be a trade for a young guy who has potential in our defense, or a mid-range FA signing. If you look at who we've signed, outside of our own guys, we haven't spent a lot. (with the exception of Olsen, who we traded for because, in chud's offense, TE was by FAR the weakest point. Thanks Fox, you dick.) That probably won't change if we go after a CB. Someone like Phillip Buchanon makes sense, but he wouldn't make your dicks hard.

If nothing else, we could always move Godfrey back to his natural position at CB and end this terrible experiment once and for all, then start Pugh. That'd be cool with me too.

In short, trust Rivera until he gives you reason not to. Or he'll pimpslap you.

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Posted · Report post

tldr

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Posted · Report post

inb4 cool story bro, and or you mad bro comments

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Posted · Report post

Squirrel's posts are generally one word and I still tldr

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Posted · Report post

That's a rip off of Fiz if I've ever seen one.

Just not as good and not as funny.

It's like you ripped off Raging Bull who ripped off Fiz.

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Posted · Report post

Fun fact I was like this before Fiz was. Fiz is just better at it than me.

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Fun fact I was like this before Fiz was. Fiz is just better at it than me.

Thanks for contributing.

I enjoyed reading it, and you made some good points.

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Posted · Report post

Fiz, RB, and myself all derive our posting styles from way too much somethingawful browsing anyway, no one copied anyone JUST READ THE POST YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARDS AND FEEL BETTER.

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what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Nice. :lol:

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Posted · Report post

I swear you and Fiz are the same damn person.

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what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Lame and overused.

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