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Kentwan Balmer

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Yeah but if I was Hurney, the guy could dress in a tu-tu for practice as long as he actually was a decent DT.

Really, really puzzling.

Hurney: Alright Ken, we've caught word you're a homo.

KB: You got me Marty. So, lemme guess, I'm released right?

Hurney: No, we think you're a talented guy and we don't care about your personal life or lifestyle for that matter. We just want you to be a good football player.

KB: Problem is... I'm tired of hiding... Hiding behind these glorified, pad-stuffed, knee-length tights. I want to be free. I want people to see the real Kentwan. For now on, I'm playing tonight and practicing without bottoms on Marty. Free, like I was meant to be! Shoulder pads will still be on, but I'm talking butt ass naked!

Hurney: That whole "you aren't released thing..." Yeah, you're released.

KB: Dammit! I knew it! It never works! No one understands me, it happens everytime!

*Balmer gets up and walks out in a very distinguished manner while wiping his face of tears and squeeling in a high-pitched unmanly tone, only for Hurney to realize he took his pants off in front of his desk and left them there... Hurney shakes his head as he sees KB exit the office*

Hurney: One day... One day... Somebody's gonna get that guy... One day...

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Do you really think there are no gay football players on the Panthers?

Smitty would have beat them up.

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I think it has to be to make roster room for a signing or trade they are close to. Even if he was one of the mythical "bad locker room presence" guys, I think they'd at least give him a game to prove that he's worth it.

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carolinagrowl Steve Reed

A team source tells me the primary reason the Panthers cut Kentwan Balmer is because he wasn't in very good shape.


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