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Cam Is Becoming Chuck Norris


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#1 fieryprophet

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 02:20 PM

http://sports.espn.g...?page=TMR111013
Matt Berry loving on Newton. . .

Cam Newton, QB, Panthers (My rank: 2, Average of the other three rankers: 5): An obvious name, but I have him at two overall, saying I am recommending you start him over every big-time stud you might have whose name doesn't rhyme with Sharon Dodgers. Good matchup; the Falcons are allowing the ninth-most points per game to opposing quarterbacks, but come on. The stats on Cam are just ridiculous. He's averaging 322 passing yards per game. He's tied for third in the NFL with five rushing touchdowns. He's the only player in NFL history with at least five rushing touchdowns and five passing touchdowns in his first five games. ESPN Next Level tells us he is averaging better than 10 "air yards" per pass attempt this year, the only QB in the NFL to do so. He's averaging 24.4 fantasy points a game. He once, upon finding an injured man on the side of the road, removed his own kidney and transplanted it to the injured guy, saving the man's life, using only a dipstick and half a roll of duct tape. He is looking forward to his bye week so he can get in the lab and finish up the cure for cancer. It was him who found Osama. Seriously, ridiculous stats.


Also,

Every time Cam Newton smiles, an angel gets its wings.


lol, wow

We've never had a player getting this kind of insane love from the media.

#2 smitty_89

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 02:28 PM

Cam Newton can use a shake weight without looking gay.

#3 dpm0409

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 02:32 PM

Cam Newton can use a shake weight without looking gay.


And if you're a dude, that's TOUGH, haha

#4 TruCatzFan

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 02:35 PM

Cam Newton once smiled at Chuck Norris, and Chuck poo his pants!

#5 smitty_89

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 02:36 PM

Cam Newton's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

#6 smitty_89

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 02:40 PM

Here is a thread similar to this. Here are some good ones from it...Credit to CarolinaCatBrigade

- On the 7th day God rested, then Cam Newton took over.
- At night Chuck Norris checks his closet for Cam Newton.
- Once Cam Newton threw a game winning TD pass, and caught it!
- Cam Newton went to the virgin islands, now they are just called the islands.
- Cam Newton is actually left handed, he just decides to give the other team a chance.
- If Cam Newton would have drove the Titanic, the iceberg would have sunk.
- Cam Newton was asked to play the lead role in the new mission impossible movie, but he passed because he couldn't understand the title.

http://www.carolinah...wton-jokes.html

#7 cdandi1

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 02:40 PM

I see Cam as a hybrid QB..thus he can't be pegged into one mythical character. So, I see him not as Chuck Norris but as a Chuck Norris/ Mostinterestingmanintheworld hybrid...

Cam once had an akward moment..just to see what it felt like.

#8 Edward Teach

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 02:40 PM

Cam eats pieces of s#!t like Chuck Norris for breakfast.

#9 Jangler

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 02:58 PM

When Chuck Norris and Superman have sleep overs, they argue over who has the cooler Cam Newton Pajamas...

#10 Jangler

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    Its gonna be just like they say, them voices tell me so

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 02:59 PM

Cam Newton refuses a syringe at a blood bank. Instead, he asked for a gun and a bucket

#11 Jangler

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    Its gonna be just like they say, them voices tell me so

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 03:01 PM

Cam Newton could have gotten off the Lost island in just a little over 3 hours.

#12 ItsPantone278

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 03:01 PM

Cam Newton watches you sleep.

#13 Jangler

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    Its gonna be just like they say, them voices tell me so

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 03:04 PM

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just women who have not met Cam Newton.

#14 Jangler

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 03:05 PM

The Dinosaurs laughed at Cam.

#15 teeray

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 03:33 PM

My wife cheated on me with Cam Newton. When I found out about it I gave her a high five.


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