Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Cam Is Becoming Chuck Norris

75 posts in this topic

Posted · Report post

http://sports.espn.go.com/fantasy/football/ffl/story?page=TMR111013

Matt Berry loving on Newton. . .

Cam Newton, QB, Panthers (My rank: 2, Average of the other three rankers: 5): An obvious name, but I have him at two overall, saying I am recommending you start him over every big-time stud you might have whose name doesn't rhyme with Sharon Dodgers. Good matchup; the Falcons are allowing the ninth-most points per game to opposing quarterbacks, but come on. The stats on Cam are just ridiculous. He's averaging 322 passing yards per game. He's tied for third in the NFL with five rushing touchdowns. He's the only player in NFL history with at least five rushing touchdowns and five passing touchdowns in his first five games. ESPN Next Level tells us he is averaging better than 10 "air yards" per pass attempt this year, the only QB in the NFL to do so. He's averaging 24.4 fantasy points a game. He once, upon finding an injured man on the side of the road, removed his own kidney and transplanted it to the injured guy, saving the man's life, using only a dipstick and half a roll of duct tape. He is looking forward to his bye week so he can get in the lab and finish up the cure for cancer. It was him who found Osama. Seriously, ridiculous stats.

Also,

Every time Cam Newton smiles, an angel gets its wings.

lol, wow

We've never had a player getting this kind of insane love from the media.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Cam Newton can use a shake weight without looking gay.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Cam Newton can use a shake weight without looking gay.

And if you're a dude, that's TOUGH, haha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Cam Newton once smiled at Chuck Norris, and Chuck poo his pants!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Cam Newton's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Here is a thread similar to this. Here are some good ones from it...Credit to CarolinaCatBrigade

- On the 7th day God rested, then Cam Newton took over.

- At night Chuck Norris checks his closet for Cam Newton.

- Once Cam Newton threw a game winning TD pass, and caught it!

- Cam Newton went to the virgin islands, now they are just called the islands.

- Cam Newton is actually left handed, he just decides to give the other team a chance.

- If Cam Newton would have drove the Titanic, the iceberg would have sunk.

- Cam Newton was asked to play the lead role in the new mission impossible movie, but he passed because he couldn't understand the title.

http://www.carolinahuddle.com/forum/carolina-panthers/61280-cam-newton-jokes.html

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

I see Cam as a hybrid QB..thus he can't be pegged into one mythical character. So, I see him not as Chuck Norris but as a Chuck Norris/ Mostinterestingmanintheworld hybrid...

Cam once had an akward moment..just to see what it felt like.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Cam eats pieces of s#!t like Chuck Norris for breakfast.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

When Chuck Norris and Superman have sleep overs, they argue over who has the cooler Cam Newton Pajamas...

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Cam Newton refuses a syringe at a blood bank. Instead, he asked for a gun and a bucket

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Cam Newton could have gotten off the Lost island in just a little over 3 hours.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Cam Newton watches you sleep.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites