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A Pillowtop Mattress Is Ruining My Marriage


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#1 Jase

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:18 AM

I will never own a pillowtop mattress again.

1. I sleep an average of 2 hours longer if left on my own. It's way too comfortable and warm to sleep on.
2. It's way too soft for sex. You just sink into it and slide around, no leverage whatsoever. Also it's so high that any positions involving feet on the floor are out of the question.
3. It's so thick that it's difficult to change the sheets or even keep sheets on it for that matter.
4. Our dog likes it way too much. There was a time when I didn't even let her sleep in the bedroom, now she thinks it is her bed.
5. My wife climbs in and immediately falls asleep. No fun.


So as you can see, I bought this mattress when I was young and naive. Beware young guys buying your first bed, beware.


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#2 Zcustom

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:23 AM

Pfft put a 3" memory foam topper on that bad boy and get back to me

#3 Jase

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:29 AM

do you have it on top of an already thick pillowtop?

If so, kudos on at least having sex twice in your marriage.

#4 catfang

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:33 AM

Get a tempurpedic. Nice and firm support for when you are hittin' that button.

#5 Jase

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:40 AM

it's almost better on a couch because at least I know we're only going to sink in about 4-6" on a couch. Also you can put down a foot to help, whereas our pillowtop is so high that this isn't an option.

This pillowtop we both seem to sink in about a foot. It's ridiculous, like trying to ski uphill.

#6 Zcustom

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:44 AM

do you have it on top of an already thick pillowtop?

If so, kudos on at least having sex twice in your marriage.


Yes

you should be having the "we're up at 3am because of the baby so let's fug while we're awake" sex about now

#7 Jase

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 08:54 AM

Yes

you should be having the "we're up at 3am because of the baby so let's fug while we're awake" sex about now


sounds like you both are pretty alert when you wake up in the middle of the night... sadly I am a zombie at 3 am

#8 Panthro

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:00 AM

This pillowtop we both seem to sink in about a foot. It's ridiculous, like trying to ski uphill.

Get a longer pole

#9 Mrs Pantherfan

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:00 AM

Also it's so high that any positions involving feet on the floor are out of the question.
3. It's so thick that it's difficult to change the sheets or even keep sheets on it for that matter.



MrPF is 6'4...we don't have that problem

Also, they're called deep pocket sheets..get with the fuging program..we have the exact type bed :)

#10 Carolina Husker

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:01 AM

Get one of these for the dog. Best $100 you can spend. My dogs don't even care about getting on our bed anymore.

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#11 Jase

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:02 AM

MrPF is 6'4...we don't have that problem

Also, they're called deep pocket sheets..get with the fuging program..we have the exact type bed :)


We have those, lol

The mattress is about 18" thick

#12 Jase

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:04 AM

Get one of these for the dog. Best $100 you can spend. My dogs don't even care about getting on our bed anymore.

Posted Image

Looks a little small for sex but I'll give it a try.

TWSS


Seriously though, that looks cool. Where'd you get it?

#13 Panthro

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:11 AM

The dog or the bed?

#14 Jase

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:12 AM

can't it be both?

#15 Darth Biscuit

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 09:15 AM

Married... sex.... what?


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