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Guest Tom Cat

Christmas Traditions You Could live Without

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My in-laws have this tradition with their children that they give them a set of pajamas every christmas eve. They have to hold their hands over their eyes with the box in their lap, like it's a fuging surprise, while they snap about a blue million pictures, then you open the pajama's and take pictures while you hold them up. Then you take pictures with them on.

Somehow, I've been forced to become part of this tradition. So I have to sit there on the couch with my woman and her fuging sister with my hands over my eyes like a goddamn moron every christmas eve.

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My in-laws have this tradition with their children that they give them a set of pajamas every christmas eve. They have to hold their hands over their eyes with the box in their lap, like it's a fuging surprise, while they snap about a blue million pictures, then you open the pajama's and take pictures while you hold them up. Then you take pictures with them on.

Somehow, I've been forced to become part of this tradition. So I have to sit there on the couch with my woman and her fuging sister with my hands over my eyes like a goddamn moron every christmas eve.

Footsies??

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Yeah I was that asshole last year who kept telling my family, "you know Jesus wasn't born on Christmas, right?"

Sadly, most of my family either can't cook, or lost the ability. Both of my Christmas meals are typically terrible now...so the food is definitely something I could live without/would change.

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Every year my sister in law sends us a tin of freshly baked Christmas cookies. sounds yummy huh? Not hardly- she always throws them loose in a tin with a paper towel folded flat over top of them (to absorb the impact I guess shes thinking) and then puts the tin in a cardboard box. Then they are whisked several hundred miles to me by the magic of UPS. By the time the cookies arrive they are barely discernible as food let alone cookies. I dont have the heart to tell her and this has been going on for about a dozen years now. Oh well - the chickens will have a nice snack.

Heres this years installment of Holiday Crumbs as they arrived - and oh yes - the flavors have mingled quite nicely!

http://xmascrumbs.jpg

take a piece of bread or two and put them in the closed tin container over night. In the morning you will have found the bread is all hard and the cookie are nice and soft instead of dried out

you're welcome :)

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Yeah I was that asshole last year who kept telling my family, "you know Jesus wasn't born on Christmas, right?"

Sadly, most of my family either can't cook, or lost the ability. Both of my Christmas meals are typically terrible now...so the food is definitely something I could live without/would change.

Offer to cook or help.

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My girlfriends least favorite are chestnuts.

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Offer to cook or help.

Oh I do. And I do help to an extent...but I'm more of a grill guy, not a oven guy, which is where most of the Xmas cooking happens.

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several family friends phone it in and we have to find room for four of these:

MJpQl.jpg

Werd?

Forwarding address:

Cat Poop

P.O. Box 4,000,023

Gay Street

Dupont Circle

Washington D.C.

Or just hand them to the drag queen with the feather boa on the corner of R and 18th. (S)he knows how to find me.

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Ugh

My mom insists on reading the bible and placing the damn baby jesus in the manger at the right moment.

Me, you know, the atheist guy?

I'm an asshole, but I'm not the world's biggest asshole...yet...so I haven't refused my turn in the pass the fictional mythology group book reading and wooden infant resettling tradition.

My 7 year old daughter last year asked me why they do it.

I said it is tradition.

No poo she said "That's gay".

I love her so much.

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Sadly, most of my family either can't cook, or lost the ability. Both of my Christmas meals are typically terrible now...so the food is definitely something I could live without/would change.

You know..I'm in the same boat with my family..I don't know wtf happened..but the food at Thanksgiving sucked! it was horrible!!! So..instead of having the same horrible turkey and barely edible stuffing..I suggested that we do something different...so we're having an Italian themed Christmas..

I'm making the Lasagna and the antipasti..my dad's girlfriend..as annoying as fug as she is, she can cook..so she's making bracciole..and my sister is doing Tiramisu...

basically..My mother and grandmother aren't cooking anything..therefore, we will eat like kings!!!

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