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The ability of Fathers and Sons to have a conversation...

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Posted

Zero.

60ish.

For instance he called me today about a prior agreement.

Basically telling me I would become a better person if he didn't follow through, b/c he didn't feel I had "qualified" for said agreement happen.

I have of course, he just got into his mind that this needed to be discussed...well argued about.

It's hard to explain what it's like to have such a straining relationship. I feel like I have next to no connection with one of the few people I should.

I

you always felt this way?

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Posted

My dad and I always get in arguments... We cannot talk for more than 30min without arguing about something.

Recently, my dad got hurt very bad at work. I felt it... It was weird but I knew something happened to him and maybe 1 hour later my mom called me to let me know my dad got injured pretty bad. I believe that's the connection.

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Posted

you always felt this way?

Pretty much.

I can't think of many things we have actually 100% agreed on.

Fundamentally we are just different.

He grew up in an era that was work work work and find more work todo.

I worked to play.

Not that I am a softy but I could probably count on 1 hand the times he has told me he was proud or that he loved me, it's just not in his emotional ability. Meanwhile it gets back to me how he brags on me and the person I am SMH.

Not to mention the political issues I have just learned to avoid, which are mainly a product of his environment and Deep South roots.

Gays are going to hell, America isn't ready for Obama, etc etc.

I guess I just need a (mostly) anonymous area to vent.

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Posted

My dad and I have always had an interesting relationship...

Talking really isn't his thing. We've gotten along well at times and not so well at times, but never anything rough.

One thing I will say though is that if he says he's gonna do something (for me or really anyone) he does it.

Over the last probably 3 years, I've spent a LOT more time with him than at any other point in my life, mainly together playing golf. I've grown to really enjoy that time.

In regards to my boys, I try to engage them whenever I can... one is 17 and the other is almost 13. They are very different and so talking to them is like night and day.

I've always tried to let them know I'm available to talk about literally anything, anytime, good or bad.

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Posted

I guess the main thing that bugs me is I don't want to carry on this tradition.

signed

Irritated in ILM

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Posted

My father and I struggled through high school and into college. Argued about grades/future/money/responsibility wtev. Then when I left for college things changed. He calmed down we started to have similar issues/things in common we could talk about. Now we play golf all the time, smoke cigars and do stuff together. Went from being a strained relationship where we barely talked to not knowing what I would do without him. brb gonna go cry and call him

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Posted

I guess the main thing that bugs me is I don't want to carry on this tradition.

signed

Irritated in ILM

what does he like to do?

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Posted

I guess the main thing that bugs me is I don't want to carry on this tradition.

signed

Irritated in ILM

Then don't... it's up to you to make that happen with your boy.

It's not as hard as some people make it out to be... my oldest particularly is really nothing at all like me... doesn't like or play sports, like to talk your ear off (like his mom does) and is just generally into things that I'm not interested in... but I make time to talk to him about stuff and have really tried to find common ground, esp now that's he's old enough to start making his own decisions about life.

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Posted

what does he like to do?

Who?

You have the vaguest damned posts :lol:

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Posted

Who?

You have the vaguest damned posts :lol:

sorry... your dad. what does he like to do?

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Posted

sorry... your dad. what does he like to do?

Honestly ? Not much of anything other than work.

He grew up working a hard farm life. Grinding through being a mechanic till he retired as a shop supervisor for the State. All he knows how to really do is work. He has a hard time unwinding or having "fun" as you say.

It's hard to describe.

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Posted

I ask for advice regarding work, photography, cars. Most dad's love dolling out advice.

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