Posted 10 September 2013 - 09:27 AM
A WHOLE PIE!
Before I discuss this upcoming battle of mediocre teams, I need some help Buffalo. You see, I'm torn. Because 30,000+ Buffalonians have moved to the Charlotte region in the last 3 years. I fully understand the reason for this mass migration because Buffalo sucks major ass and the school system pops out illiterate after illiterate (The big waterfall is nice so you've got that going for you). So on one hand I'd like to thank you for adding to our population but on the other hand I can't, because when you peel back the onion Buffalonians are in fact a drag on our economy. The pasty white skin of your women has caused a reverse parking lot effect, reflecting so much sunlight away from the city that it's effecting my tomato (maybe you guys spell it tomatoe in buffalo?) plants. The combined BMI of Charlotte has increased almost 38% because of the 30,000+ transplants from the armpit of Canadia. Local restaurants are dying because Buffalonian transplants are lobbying for more fast food joints. There is a growing strain on our sewer systems and they hardly pay taxes so we are literally left dealing with their poo as they go about their merry ways. The Sabres can suck my dick because they haven't shown a tough bone since Dougie Gilmore laced 'em up yet your loud mouth transplant asses feel the need to stink up our beautiful hockey arena in Raleigh. No offense to that HBC Arena shithole in downtown ghost town Buffalo. The list could go on but I digress. I do appreciate the buffalo wing (although buffalo fingers are far superior) and the beef on weck sammiches. Just please invest in some soap because the summers can get a little hot down here. And listen, you fugers moved down here using something called "free will". We didn't ask your ass to relocate. So don't bring your non-hand washing asses down here and complain about everything. That interstate runs back north as well, feel free to use it.
As for the game this Sunday, fug it. We will probably find a way to blow it. But at least our team will come home after the game. Wish I could say the same for your Buffalo brethren that have set up shop in this fine corner of America.
Buffalo - 97
Panthers - 96
Good luck Buffalo (obviously the town is named after your women)!