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#61 PhillyB

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 02:02 AM

congratulations on being obsessive enough to actually make a fake Facebook profile to access my information... and for being extra creepy and trying to hit on me with it. Were you trying to score dong pics or what?

As for the photos, last year I embarked on a month-long journey at sea from Long Beach, CA to Sydney, Australia on a cargo ship in order to find the solitude and inspiration to begin writing my book. Those old guys are fellow travelers, ceremonially smoking cigars as we crossed the equator. As for the last two pics, I got drunk as poo during the equator-crossing party and caroused with the Filipino crew and eastern European officers with covers of songs on my acoustic well into the night. Here's an excerpt from my blog if anyone's interested

Nine days into the voyage we had a barbecue, an event celebrated once on every crossing of the Pacific. The crew cordoned off one side of the poop deck, covering the descending stairwell with a board to make an extra table, and filled the open spaces with more tables, long benches, and an enormous makeshift grill. A vast barrel stood in the middle of the scene, filled to the brim with canned beer, and the table next to it, once empty, was now covered in trays of raw chicken, beef, pork, and several milkfish wrapped individually in tin foil.

The bosun’s mate slipped a CD into an old stereo, cranked the volume up as high as it would go, and hit play. Vast heaps of meat cooked on the grill, and we, on the starboard facing west, were cooked by the waning rays of a merciless tropical sun. Everyone was in attendance – even the introverted first mate – for a portion of the party. The Filipinos sat clustered in a group aft, towards the back of the ship, and the officers in a long line together several feet away, occupying the benches.

How many beers I consumed I shall decline to say; but when the CDs stopped in the stereo, and the talk had died down to idle chatter, and the sun had disappeared in a spectacular show beneath the horizon, I, at the behest of Captain Tomilov, pulled my guitar case from under the table and pulled it out. A roar of approval rose from among the ranks, a round of applause, and eager requests.

To our mutual delight, the Filipino crew knew every word of every song I could play, and the officers knew most of them. And everyone sang along, loud and out of key, so that my own voice was usually drowned out. All I had to do was lead. I started with Green Day and rolled through an entire concert worth of songs, from Radiohead to the Eagles to Oasis and Nirvana and the Chili Peppers and more (including a Fountains of Wayne song called “Sink to the Bottom,” arguably an inauspicious omen among superstitious seamen.)

The crowd ate it up. Filipinos and officers met, arm in arm, belting out lyrics and clapping the beat. "Yellow Submarine" was the biggest hit of them all. It became a long, drawn-out affair. I changed the lyrics part way through so that the chorus went:

We all live on the Natalie Schulte
The Natalie Schulte
The Natalie Schulte
We all live on the Natalie Schulte
The Natalie Schulte
The Natalie


I strode back and forth across the deck, belting out the lyrics, missing a chord occasionally, but in the din nobody could possibly hear the guitar in the first place. “Filipinos!” I bawled, and they took up the chorus, swaying in unison with the roll of the ship. “And Ukranians!” I cried as they finished, shifting forward, where they sat, and in their thick accents they began, all bashfulness long ago cast overboard.

“…aaaand the Filipinos! The Ukranians were louder that time! …Natalie Schulte, Natalie Schulte. And Estonians now, that’s you chief engineer! We all live on the Natalie Schulte, Natalie Schulte, Natalie Schulte!”

“Louder, Filipinos now! We all live on the NATALIE SCHULTE” (here I began to shout) “the NATALIE SCHULTE, NATALIE SCHULTE!” And, with a fist thrown skyward, “YEAH!” so that the song, roared by the crew and officers in unison, a dozen fists in the air at a beat, went:

We all live on the Natalie Schulte, -YEAH!
The Natalie Schulte, -YEAH!
The Natalie Schulte, -YEAH!


And so it was that under the powerful hypnotism of music that the crew and officers together became enchanted with its beat, now quite amiable, shifting from segregated sections to intermingling fraternization of the cheerfullest kind; dancing, singing, stomping, clapping.

I, proud to be the arbitrator of this frothing merriment, bowed at the end, out of songs, to a rowdy cascade of applause, and retired to my cabin, out of songs, hoarse, happy, and dismayed that I had only completed three pages on my book that day.

The barbecue party,by all means, was a success.



#62 Porn Shop Clerk

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 02:21 AM

420455_10100218624227341_156921381_n.jpg

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Is this you bunk mate (wink wink) you're taking a pic of? Somehow the Track And Field shirt doesn't seem genuine.
421626_10100218629416941_117786630_n.jpg

 

 

now lets see pictures of your friends



#63 googoodan

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 03:01 AM

alice found my hosting site for pictures that i save for the image extensions immediately prior to posting on here under the album name "internet bullshit" and decided it was insider info

also i'm not sure how he got that picture of me as it's only on my private facebook, but now that i think about it it would explain that weird friend request from a girl with two mutual friends and like 8 total friends a week or two ago


dammit I got some strange requests too. denied

wish I could remember the names. I remember a request from a female with a spanish or Italian sounding name. Is that what you got?

Also, somewhere in Facebook settings, you can hide your friends. at least that fat stalker won't be creeping your friends or family

#64 Borat

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 03:10 AM

LOL you're making Phil's life look cooler with every post.

#65 Nicks To The Colts

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 07:09 AM

oh man, look at this guy playing guitar on a cargo ship.  how lame!

 

here, look at these shoes that UPS delivered today.  the countertop they're sitting on is made from meteorites and pope bones and is very expensive i might add.



#66 SCP

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 07:45 AM

congratulations on being obsessive enough to actually make a fake Facebook profile to access my information... and for being extra creepy and trying to hit on me with it. Were you trying to score dong pics or what?

As for the photos, last year I embarked on a month-long journey at sea from Long Beach, CA to Sydney, Australia on a cargo ship in order to find the solitude and inspiration to begin writing my book. Those old guys are fellow travelers, ceremonially smoking cigars as we crossed the equator. As for the last two pics, I got drunk as poo during the equator-crossing party and caroused with the Filipino crew and eastern European officers with covers of songs on my acoustic well into the night. Here's an excerpt from my blog if anyone's interested


OH YA!!!!??? Well Alicejandra owns tie-dyed Air Jordan's.

#67 BelgianPantherFan

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 08:34 AM

In Europe, we throw creeps like Dat Alice in prison.



#68 Nicks To The Colts

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 08:46 AM

haha pat pretends to be a girl on the internet

 

you heard it here first



#69 SCP

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 09:26 AM

haha pat pretends to be a girl on the internet

you heard it here first


Chicks with dicks

#70 TheRumGone

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 09:36 AM

those pics make me wanna play mw3



#71 Jangler

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 09:40 AM

Alice is jealous, he has always wanted to spend a week or two on a ship full of older men smoking cigars.

 



#72 Hawk

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 10:45 AM

fugen Alice, you little cum covered twat!

 

 

you bitched and cried like the little whiny ***** you and your mother are to the admins when your personal poo got posted here and now you turn around and do the same thing?  You got a fake facebook account to do this?

 

 

well....fug you....maybe Zod or someone can over turn it again....but for now.....c ya!



#73 OnlyPantherFaninMaine

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 10:59 AM

fugen Alice, you little cum covered twat!

 

 

you bitched and cried like the little whiny ***** you and your mother are to the admins when your personal poo got posted here and now you turn around and do the same thing?  You got a fake facebook account to do this?

 

 

well....fug you....maybe Zod or someone can over turn it again....but for now.....c ya!

 

Excellent. 



#74 PhillyB

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 11:50 AM

pretty sure this is the fake profile

 

ScreenShot2013-10-02at124847PM_zpsa7684a

 

 

 

ScreenShot2013-10-02at124521PM_zps35a583



#75 SCP

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 11:59 AM

She looks like the mom from Back to the Future


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