Ok... That just happened! I no longer have any doubts about this team or our future. We are GOOOOOD for a very very long time!!! Two Fugging Words... UNIVERSAL DYNASTY!!!!
I guess I should back up a little bit.
WARNING: The following contains spoilers for the Panthers for.... Oh lets say.... 1,000 years!!!!
It all began last night after the 9ers/GB game. I was watching the game at a local bar and after the end of the game, I paid my tab and staggered out to the curb. As I was walking down the sidewalk, all these thoughts and doubt were running through my head. "Can we beat the 49ers twice?" "What if our offense stalls in the 4th quarter?" "Can the Defense play another solid game like they did before?" "Where can I get some crab legs at this time?"
Then, in mid-thought, I was distracted by a strangle noise coming from the next corner. I ran up the street as fast as my tipsy legs would take me. But when I got there... nothing. Just a few people, a party tent, and one of those stupid british police boxes. Just as I was turning around to walk away, there was a bright flash followed by the sound of a crack of lightening and the car tires screeching to a halt.
There... Parked in front of me... was a Delorean! Just as I was comprehending what just happened, the door swung open and a very familiar face invited me to jump in.
Sir Purr waved for me to get into the car. He told me (Yeah... Sir Purr spoke. Get over it!) "I know you have your doubts. Jump in and I'll make sure you never doubt again."
So, of course I jumped in the iconic car with a strange mascot! He told me I got 1 trip, and to punch in the date and time. I could only think of one date... January 12th, 2014 1:00pm EST. (The most important game is the next game. Right?)
We arrived at BOA right before the gates opened and Sir Purr used his credentials to get us in the team gates and in the locker room. The players were out on the field for pre game warm ups, but we had business to attend to. I had to knock out the present Sir Purr and stuff him in the janitors closet so not to cause a paradox and all that.
After we "tied up some lose ends", we headed out to our place of the sidelines. Finally got to meet Zod. (BTW Zod, don't eat that chili dog before the game, there are not enough napkins in the stadium to get it off your media vest.)
The stands were packed with Panther fans. I was actually surprised at the turn out. During the intro the place was shaking. Then, Smitty comes out with some "party supplies" and the whole city shook.
The game started out pretty slow. I couple a stalled drives from both teams. Then, towards the end of the 1st quarter this happened.
Cam FLYS over both lines into the end zone from the 20!!! You can even see the surprise on Cam's face.
This lit a fire under our defense. It seemed like Luuuuke was all over the field in every play. I tried to get a picture of him and was shocked at what I found when I looked at how it turned out.
HE HAD ACTUALLY MULTIPLIED INTO 11 DIFFERENT KUECHLYS... (Kuechli?)
After a big stop by the Kuechly Krew, the offense got the ball at mid-field. The first play was a handoff to Tolbert. He ran in for the score untouched... But I guess this picture best explains how that went down...
The 49ers "ELITE" LB's didn't want any part of Tolbert and actually paved the way to the end-zone for him. Running for their lives knocking down ANYONE who stood in there way.
By the 4th quarter the Panthers were up by 14. But Kaepernick got a good run into the end-zone to bring it to a 1 score game. But.... That arrogant ass-hat did his "makeout with my own bicep" celebration, and that did not sit well with the Kraken.
It did get us a 15 yard penalty AND got the Kraken thrown out of the game... But the damage was done and the Panthers controlled the remainder of the game with ease.
PANTHERS WON 24-14!!!
Once the game was over, I told my feline-time-traveling-companion I HAD to know, "DO WE WIN THE SUPER BOWL?!?!?!"
He just looked at me with that cocky whiskered smile and said, "Ok, 1 more quick stop before I take you back."
We got in the time machine and I noticed the crazy mascot punched in February 2nd, 3014. I laughed at him and tried to make some joke about his fat mascot fingers hitting the wrong number, but it was too late and we arrived in the year 3014. And guys.... I hope y'all get use to the bandwagon fans, because they never stop jumping on board.
Yeah... We kinda are a big deal on the 4th moon of Zweojxxk 8.
So guys, stop worrying and doubting about this team... Turns out, the sky ISN'T the limit for the Carolina Panthers.