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SCP

Member Since 25 Nov 2008
Offline Last Active Today, 09:11 AM
****-

#2283680 Balls Deep in Jif: An erotic tale of a boy, his pup, and peanut buttery delis...

Posted by SCP on 11 July 2013 - 10:19 AM

Already working on the sequel, The Skippy Diaries.


#2283676 Panthers to ink Quintin Mikell?

Posted by SCP on 11 July 2013 - 10:17 AM

Why does a beat writer need a vacation? They hardly even write stories anymore, they just tweet. Their life is a vacation. I'm in the hard scrapping life of sales and I have taken maybe two vacations since graduating college.


#2283589 Balls Deep in Jif: An erotic tale of a boy, his pup, and peanut buttery delis...

Posted by SCP on 11 July 2013 - 09:18 AM

What kind of JIF? Natural? Chunky? If it's both, I'd say this may have the promise of a 21st century version of Joyce's Portrait of an Artist As a Young Man. Of course, Nutella is delectable in and of itself.


If I give away the type of Jif it will ruin the film for the viewer.


#2283531 Balls Deep in Jif: An erotic tale of a boy, his pup, and peanut buttery delis...

Posted by SCP on 11 July 2013 - 08:47 AM

Balls Deep in Jif (coming in the Fall of 2013)

Plot:
A raw, powerful story of a young Spaniard man, Alicejandra, and his shih tzu, Mr. George Washington Carver Bigglesworth, who meet in the summer of 2005 in the harsh aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. They form an unorthodox yet life-long bond that turns ecstatic, bitter and conflicted. In 2005, the two venture out in what had otherwise been anticipated to be rather uneventful commercial real estate ventures. Alice with his limited edition Nike shoes and Mr. George Washington Carver Bigglesworth with his aching toungue, coated in Jif and Gold Bond talcum powder after years of abuse at the hands of Alicejandra. Even with that dark secret, the friendship soon turns into an affair of love, of lust, and complications that will span through 10 years of their lives. Set against the sweeping porches of the crack house lined streets of Metiarie, LA, this film tugs at the heart strings as you struggle between the reality of what you are seeing and the tragic consequences of watching it unfold. You will find yourself caught between a laugh and a cry, when you witness a silver spoon fed boy, handcuffed by the materialistic things in life, struggling to find companionship by smearing his balls with peanut butter and sometimes Nutella (because Mr. George Washington Carver Bigglesworth has peanut allergies). The film invites you in to feel Alicejandra's pain as he makes the difficult decision on whether or not to make his maid use wet wipes on his butt after a night of wild peanut butter loving with Mr. George Washington Carver Bigglesworth. Get ready for the most gripping tale to hit the big screen since Brokeback Mountain. This film will make you wish you wore a jock strap to the theater.


#2283465 Broncos executives get wasted, drive, crash into things

Posted by SCP on 11 July 2013 - 07:21 AM

By all accounts, Elway likes to tie one on. Maybe this is the Bronco way like murder and cheating is the Patriot way and Vicodin theft and bounty is the Saints way.


#2283136 Charlotte, what the locals say..

Posted by SCP on 10 July 2013 - 09:04 PM

alejandro is gonna be a story on lifetime network one day


A 7 part mini series entitled Balls Deep in Jif.


#2283133 Post your pic....

Posted by SCP on 10 July 2013 - 08:58 PM

images.jpg


I loved you in My Name is Earl


#2283130 NFL.com Greatest Uniform Tournament

Posted by SCP on 10 July 2013 - 08:55 PM

Loved those uni's. hated that game.

Our shits are the best regardless. Whites, blacks, and blues. Balls deep.


#2282777 Cam Newton: Why Can't He Win?

Posted by SCP on 10 July 2013 - 02:43 PM

LMAO Who in the fug wrote that drivel?

I refuse to click that link. Sounds like something fat Alice would type.


#2282677 Why do you think we are a + 7 win team?

Posted by SCP on 10 July 2013 - 01:33 PM

Let it go SCP. You'll never be able to sell that Otah jersey for even $10.


Some day you're gonna see a homeless guy begging for food in an authentic Otah jersey. That or you will see me tie it off, fill it with bars of soap, and beat the crap out of a Saints fan with it.


#2282673 Post your pic....

Posted by SCP on 10 July 2013 - 01:31 PM

At my daughters cowgirl birthday party a few months back.


Thank god I have another member in my cargo short army. I was feeling a little lonely.


#2282557 Charlotte, what the locals say..

Posted by SCP on 10 July 2013 - 11:16 AM

Metairie is the French term for a small tenant farm.


And Alicejandra is the Spanish term for transgender man tits.


#2282466 No Title

Posted by SCP on 10 July 2013 - 10:01 AM

I knew this was about the Panthers when it started with "no title."


You are so much better than that fuging pussy, Alicejandra. Take that transgender sack of man tits back to Saintsreport please.


#2282209 Things aren't going so well in Bristol

Posted by SCP on 09 July 2013 - 09:50 PM

As a whole, they have the worst personalities on TV.


#2281719 For only $235, you can have an entry system like mine.

Posted by SCP on 09 July 2013 - 02:29 PM

How many CD towers did you buy with that $5K?




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