Captroop

It's official: Boner Champ is the new Porn Shop Clerk.

Holy crap! That is horrifying. The best advice I ever got in drivers' ed was this, and it's so terrifyingly true: "You can be right, and dead. They aren't mutually exclusive." My friends laugh at me when I always buckle up, always look both ways at a green light, and always head check when I'm changing lanes. But I always have and I always will, because you can't control stuff like this. You can only stay out of it's way.

^^^ I love photo posts that have a theme!

I just now realized there's something on her shirt that I'm supposed to be looking at.

Penicillin will clear that right up.

Clearly I missed my calling.

On Groupon Goods today (no shiz):

I just lolled so hard the guy in the next office just knocked on the wall to see what's up.

Yet another thing that doesn't work in real life like it does in movies:

This is a tough situation. My female cousin was a nurse for a quadriplegic boy who was about 16 at the time when she was in college. But apparently he wasn't a quintiplegic ifyoucatchmydrift. And I guess the physical contact from her was too much for a 16-year-old virgin to bear. It was obviously just a natural reaction for a pubescent male, but he also couldn't do anything about it. My cousin used to feel bad for him, and even on occasion thought about "helping him out." My cousin and I have been talking about this, and we considering the idea of either creating a sort of "medical masturbator" or hypothetically, specially trained nurses who do this kind of thing for people in these situations. Purely for medical reasons; prescription manual gratifiers. No house calls for a headache. If you can smoke weed for glaucoma, why can't you hire a hooker for paralysis? Because honestly, imagine if you had no working arms and working junk. It's a fate worse than death.

My fave:

Did I really need to spell out everything in my description? I figured I would leave that as a little surprise for those who took the time to click the link; like a little cream cheese inside of a chocolate cupcake.

Actually my original image was dragon humping a car, but upon unpleasantly closer inspection, there are dragon balls in there that have nothing to do with anime. Better sub it out... But here is the dragon humping a car link: http://25.media.tumblr.com/fa6065c955d7caba4cb0fedd70fde747/tumblr_mmp965vc1w1rhwl4ko1_r3_400.gif

I remember when my dad used to take me seal fishing.

Holy crap. I didn't even think that was possible.

Late-nite TV watchers will know:

As an artist, I can honestly say I wouldn't mind a range of flesh colored pencils and markers, regardless of how racist the packaging is. Beats the hell out of spending 20 minutes picking the right $7 Copic marker that looks like flesh tone to me, coloring in a drawing I've spent 4 hours penciling and inking, and then leaning back and going, "God he looks pink."