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carpantherfan84

questions on child-rearing

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Absolutely, that is exactly what we do.  We interject, or redirect w/e you want to call it.  We took GREAT care to teach him the merits of sharing and such.  He is a great sharer and really is an all around great soul of a child.  Unfortunately, he is constantly taken advantage of.  If anything, we may have interfered so much that we prevented him from building up a natural social relationship where he is able to assert hisself.  That is my greatest fear for him.

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pstall    5,759

all is not lost man. just stay with it and don't over think what you are doing. there will be times you may need to sit back and see how he haggles. let him fall from time to time and he will learn.

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make no mistake, I will never give up  on him. I am sure he will be fine. Stuff like this bothers me WAAAAYYY more than it bothers him. But he just reacts soo different from other kids.  I mean, when your kids were 5 and another kid snatched something, or jostled them out of line or struck them, I am sure they either retaliated or came and told their parents crying.  My son did neither, until he was old enough to understand what we were saying, then he would only do things like take back a toy that is taken from him. Curious behavior

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pstall    5,759

best advice i can give is find some friends who have kids a couple of years older than yours and you like how those kids are turning out so far. hang with them as much as you can and observe and absorb all you can.

 

trust me. all new parents OVER analyze everything kid related. the second kid cures you of that real fast. lol

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Kevin Greene    11,979

Only excuse would be if the spitter was a special needs kid. Either way the parents should have taken action.

I'd explain to your 5 old that is exactly the case, the kid was wrong, the parent should have acted and good job not going ballistic.

He'll have plenty opportunity later in life for drunken bar fights.

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PhillyB    40,350

i don't have much to offer here other than shared angst in knowing i'm going to have to figure these things out in a few years

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lol at all the comments. My son is a complete pacifist. Absolutely refuses to even consider violence in any situation. That is likely why he is CONSTANTLY BULLIED!. So fug you all. I could give a poo less if you feel that I should teach my son nonviolence.

Said the guy who started the thread asking for parenting advice.

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Kettle    765

Why take a toy to a McDonald's playground in the first place? Was it just the happy meal toy?

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Cat    3,780

I don't think punching a kid in the mouth especially as that age is the solution. Your child can easily walk away and get an adult. Until your kid can reason out situations better I don't think face punches are recommended. (Talk about escalation, face punches are pretty damn extreme especially in retaliation for spitting)

I watched a 13is year old at the beach yell at his grandma because he wanted to stay at the beach. Then he started punching her. It was in front of several 20 year old guys and some delivery guys. No one said a word. I got in between the kid and her and said we don't punch people that's unacceptable. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy for stepping in. I should have called resort security. I'm kicking myself for not doing more. But that is a good example of why Charles Ramsey is a hero.

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Zod    14,969

Teaching a kid that violence will resolve an issue is a bad idea. You are using adult logic as to what is worth a punch. If you haven't noticed, a 5 year old has very different opinions on things that are important.

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Cat    3,780

Absolutely, that is exactly what we do. We interject, or redirect w/e you want to call it. We took GREAT care to teach him the merits of sharing and such. He is a great sharer and really is an all around great soul of a child. Unfortunately, he is constantly taken advantage of. If anything, we may have interfered so much that we prevented him from building up a natural social relationship where he is able to assert hisself. That is my greatest fear for him.

Yes that will happen if you value those things and teach them to him. My kid was taught not to jump in lines so guess what happens to him at the park....he gets jumped in line by all the kids who's parents didn't teach them that. Figure out what you value and instruct accordingly. Sometimes it takes time to actually figure out what really comes first.

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Zod    14,969

I would have shamed the parents. Nothing like shaming a parent in front of their kid, kind of makes the parent not want to go through that again.

 

Our society needs more judging and shaming. Every behavior is not ok.

  • Pie 1

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stirs    6,509

i don't have much to offer here other than shared angst in knowing i'm going to have to figure these things out in a few years

The only honest answer so far

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stirs    6,509

You guys write some books after you have raised kids. Just becuase you now have a newborn, does not mean you totally understand parenting or all kids. No child is like another child and you don't get a set of microwave instructions that work for every one.

And you that don't have kids but are giving advice, go back to bed.

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