Captroop

Nevermind. Broken link.

I lol'd. I think that means I'm going to hell.

I think I would black out and regain consciousness to find two 20 gauge holes in my floor.

Lol. When Fitzgerald blocks a guy to the ground it looks accidental. When Smith does it, he looks like a safety on a defenseless receiver.

This made my day!

The guy was a stud. But for the last few years he has been a shell of himself, which is still pretty damn good, but not good enough the starting lineup of star LBs, and he would have never seen the Mike again in Carolina if he ever saw the field at all. We are too talented at LB to use Beast at this point in his career. He was costing us money to ride the bench. And he's still to talented not to be starting somewhere. I gotta agree with SuperJ, this isn't the least bit surprising, and doesn't hurt nearly as much as Pep (who was starting and in the prime of his career). I'm just glad a) we got something for him instead of just letting him walk for nothing and give him a chance to be a contributor right now. I won't even say this is a tough pill to swallow. I'm not that sentimental, it was hands down the right move on all sides. Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using CarolinaHuddle mobile app

It's official: Boner Champ is the new Porn Shop Clerk.

Holy crap! That is horrifying. The best advice I ever got in drivers' ed was this, and it's so terrifyingly true: "You can be right, and dead. They aren't mutually exclusive." My friends laugh at me when I always buckle up, always look both ways at a green light, and always head check when I'm changing lanes. But I always have and I always will, because you can't control stuff like this. You can only stay out of it's way.

^^^ I love photo posts that have a theme!

I just now realized there's something on her shirt that I'm supposed to be looking at.

Penicillin will clear that right up.

Clearly I missed my calling.

On Groupon Goods today (no shiz):

I just lolled so hard the guy in the next office just knocked on the wall to see what's up.

Yet another thing that doesn't work in real life like it does in movies:

This is a tough situation. My female cousin was a nurse for a quadriplegic boy who was about 16 at the time when she was in college. But apparently he wasn't a quintiplegic ifyoucatchmydrift. And I guess the physical contact from her was too much for a 16-year-old virgin to bear. It was obviously just a natural reaction for a pubescent male, but he also couldn't do anything about it. My cousin used to feel bad for him, and even on occasion thought about "helping him out." My cousin and I have been talking about this, and we considering the idea of either creating a sort of "medical masturbator" or hypothetically, specially trained nurses who do this kind of thing for people in these situations. Purely for medical reasons; prescription manual gratifiers. No house calls for a headache. If you can smoke weed for glaucoma, why can't you hire a hooker for paralysis? Because honestly, imagine if you had no working arms and working junk. It's a fate worse than death.

My fave:

Did I really need to spell out everything in my description? I figured I would leave that as a little surprise for those who took the time to click the link; like a little cream cheese inside of a chocolate cupcake.