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Groundhog Day

The Saltman

By The Saltman,
in Huddle Lounge

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Hawk Newbie

Hawk

Posted
Posted

Well, my name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. I dont know if you've noticed, but I got a slight weight problem.

Psycho: The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.

Leon: Ooooooh.

Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.

Sergeant Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.

Recruiter: Now, are either of you homosexuals?

John Winger: [John and Russell look at each other] You mean, like, flaming, or...

Recruiter: Well, it's a standard question we have to ask.

Russell Ziskey: No, we're not homosexual, but we are *willing to learn*.

John Winger: Yeah, would they send us someplace special?

Recruiter: I guess that's "no" on both. Now if you could just give Uncle Sam your autograph...

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