this is my official apology if you were on Delta 4368 yesterday

[PhillyB]

after spending a week on an island in the middle of the pacific subsisting on bowls of rice and bottled water for a week straight my stomach was unprepared for being inundated with western food. but when i downed the massive hotdog in fiji and then the big mac in los angeles and the chicken quesadilla with a baked potato in phoenix i didn't think it would really affect me TOO bad.

fast forward to yesterday morning. i decided against dropping a load in the airport because my stomach didnt feel that bad, so i boarded my flight in detroit. it was just a quick hour-and-a-half hop to greensboro and then i could go poo up my toilet at home to my heart's content.

mercifully nobody was sitting next to me when i happened, but i let out the weakest, most innocent of farts. it was humble, quiet, and short - a brief exhalation, a sigh, an afterthought, the slight rustle of leaves on a windless summer afternoon.

i literally almost gagged when i smelled it. everybody likes their own scent, and i am no exception, but it was utterly unbearable. i dont know what the fug happened in my stomach but if there had been a sky marshal on board i would've been arrested. the plane was just a little commuter jet, and the same air circulated throughout the cabin, and every single person on board caught a whiff of it. i looked around at the different seats looking completely offended, like i was trying to figure out who did the deed. everyone else was doing the same thing. some chinese lady reading a bible in the aisle across from me put an entire pillow over her face and just stared out the window. the smell lingered for a good three minutes.

secretly i was proud of myself. how many people have cropdusted an entire airplane?

i also realized this thread is about bragging, not apologizing. have a nice day.

[Jeff L]

Thanks for that... I needed a laugh after the week I had on vacation!