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Bring on the Pats

restNChrist

By restNChrist,
in Carolina Panthers

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restNChrist Proficient

restNChrist

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Posted

Well its been a very long time since we were going into a big game and i expected us to win.  I'll let you take three guesses as to when that was but you'll only need one!  But today my faith was restored in my beloved Panthers.  We won a hard fought defensive stuggle away from home.  We beat a team who many were calling the toast of the NFC.  We showed the world that we have the best defense in the league!  Our rag tag bunch of DB's look like they can play with any top team.  Our timid and clueless coach has become a hard nosed, fearless, ruthless killer.  Our RB's are a trio of terror.  Our QB keeps proving the haters wrong.

 

Today we truly embodied the phrase "Keep Pounding!" 

 

So who's next?  The New England Patriots.  I aint scared!  WE are going to win this game!  We are going to light Brady Up.  We will put Gronk back into traction.  We will help Amendola find his home on the IR.  Who's their back up QB?  They better have The Golden Calf of Bristol on speed dial!  We are going to bring the pain in a variety of ways.  Sacks, picks, returns... you name it, we'll bring it.  Do they know we haven't given up a first quarter touchdown this year?  Do they know we haven't been scored on in the second half of our last two?  Perhaps the memory of their recent sucess can keep them content in the weeks that follow because next week's beat down will be enough to send any team spiraling towards NFL suicide watch.  Aaron Hernandez will ask to be put in solitary so he can't be forced to watch his former team be destroyed.  The Kraft family will stop eating cheese?  I know im reaching there... have you seen Robert Kraft, that man hasn't missed a meal con queso ever!  He brushes his teeth with cheese wiz!  Bostonian children will grow up confused as to what the Boston Masacre actually was; it couldn't truly refer to a football game could it mom?  Wasn't this the team that stole our chance at a championship?  Now we will steal what little shred of hope they had at winning another. 

 

Wait... did someone say blackout?  All black unis?  I pitty the overpaid car commercial actor who has to face what is going to be waiting for him on Monday night in BOA!  Good luck NE.  Thats all the comfort we can give.  You see, we don't believe in luck.  WE have a black cat as a mascot!  We believe in a Defense that will give your unborn children nightmares.  Still, I doubt you will be scared.  The media will not hype us as they do you.  No local Boston sports radio will put you on alert.  But thats fine... we don't want to scare you as much as we want you to remember why you should have been scared in the first place. Life's not as fun when everytime you close your eyes you see flashbacks of Keek giving you a face that only a mother can love.

 

 

 

 

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