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Great Quotes....

AKPantherFan

By AKPantherFan,
in Huddle Lounge

Recommended Posts

AKPantherFan Apprentice

AKPantherFan

Posted
Posted

Post'em if you got em ;)

"Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,

'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

<><>

"Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had

ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister,

and now wish to withdraw that statement."

- Mark Twain

<><>

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good

ending; and to have the two as close together as possible."

- George Burns

<><>

"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year."

- Victor Borge

<><>

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

- Mark Twain

<><>

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;

if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

- Socrates

<><>

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

- Groucho Marx

<><>

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.

Every now and then she stops to breathe."

- Jimmy Durante

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"I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back."

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

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"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential

food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."

- Alex Levine

<><>

"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery,

people would stop dying."

- Rodney Dangerfield

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"Money can't buy you happiness. But it does bring you

a more pleasant form of misery."

- Spike Milligan

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"Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP."

- Joe Namath

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"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.

Then it's time for my nap."

- Bob Hope

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"I never drink water because of the disgusting things

that fish do in it."

- W. C. Fields

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"We could certainly slow the aging process down if

it had to work its way through Congress."

- Will Rogers

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"Don't worry about avoiding temptation.

As you grow older, it will avoid you."

- Winston Churchill

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"Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else

starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out."

- Phyllis Diller

<><>

"By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,

he's too old to go anywhere."

- Billy Crystal

<><>

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