BJ stories...

[Carolina Husker]

I was trying to land the City Engineer's job in North Las Vegas about 10 years ago. Mythen Fiancée said that she couldn't move back to Vegas because of an outstanding bench warrant. (She lived there for 17 years. I failed to tell her that I really wasn't considering her moving with me!)

She was a paralegal out there and for a going away present, she gave one of the Black lawyers (not that color really matters) she worked with, a going away BJ in his Porsche in a parking deck with the top down!

Seems the Security Guards and some of the local police watched her on the security cameras until she was done. The police arrested her for Lewd and Lascivious conduct in public. (misdemeaner). They didn't arrest the lawyer.

Before she was to apprear in court, she moved back here. So she was sure the court issued a bench warrant for failure to appear. And as soon as she set foot back in Vegas, she would be arrested.

The kicker to all of this was, that I MAYBE got a BJ from her a total of 3 times in 6 years! Of course she didn't tell my any of this when we met either!

Just one of the MANY reasons she's an ex!

The other part of this was that she knew I was just about to kick her out. (I had told he rto "get out" on numerous occasions. Everytime, she said she would blow her brains out in my house with one of my guns! SO I moved then after about the second time she said that.)

She and her girlfriend devised this plan. That her GF would get me in bed and she would catch us there and hold it over me. It might have worked if I gave a Sh**. It was late and I had to work in the morning. They had been drinking for about 3 hours. I went outside, said my good nights and came inside to go to bed. They came in and my soon to be Ex-fiancee went to the bathroom. Her GF proceeded to stick her tongue down my throat and pull up her t-shirt. She then proceeded to pull down my shorts and take me in her mouth.

It's one of those moments like Animal House. Angel on one shoulder and Devil on the other! I picker her up off her knees and told her "No thank you!" That's when she went to the bathroom door and told her that, "You can come out now, He didn't go for it."

(It wasn't as tough as you might think to turn down. Her GF has Heppy B or C. Either one, I didn't want to risk it!)

Not long after that the ex was history! (There was rejoicing though the Cul-de-sac! Litterally!)

[Hairless Cat]

us old guys dont shoot, we just sort of dribble

[j2sgam]

Repost form the August thread:

This was around November '97...So I had my gf at the time over, and I had my way with her a coupla times. It was time for her to leave and I had to go pick up some herb. I drive down to my boy's house but he isnt home, so I drive around the neighborhood and stopped to put some gas in the truck to pass some time. This broad is walkin by, asks me if I can give her a ride home. Me, being sorta naive, says yea, mainly because Im still waiting for herb guy to get home. So Im driving this broad home and she says something about blowin me. I said thanks but no thanks, my dick is literally still wet from my girlfriend. She kept on, and I kept denying it. So I pull up to "her house" and she tells me to pull around the side, so I do. This bitch pushed her hear to my lap, and I really did try to stop it. Seriously, I pushed her head away but she was very insistent. I finally gave in, let her suck away, even asked her how my girlfriend tastes. When she, or I rather, finished, this bitch asked me for some money. I wasnt about to pull out the $350 to pay for teh weeds so I told her I put all my money in the gastank. She said you dont have anything? I opened my ashtray and threw $.38 at her and drove away...

[boo7382]

jesus!

I dont know how you guys manage to get yourselves in these kinds of situations!!!

[j2sgam]

2 brains but only enough blood to have 1 working at a time?

[bleys]

LOL..

I was thinking the same as boo.. until I remembered a similar situation, minus the BJ.

I was downtown when some chick said she needed a ride down a few blocks, looking all pathetic.. so I said that was fine. with a little twitch here and there, she asked what I wanted. I picked up on her tone and the stupid situation I just got myself into so I lied, telling her I was going home to see my wife and kids..

she said, "no really".. I said, "yes really"...

[Hawk]

yes....j2's story is a sure fire way to make some new friends, really quickly

[boo7382]

LOL..

I was thinking the same as boo.. until I remembered a similar situation, minus the BJ.

I was downtown when some chick said she needed a ride down a few blocks, looking all pathetic.. so I said that was fine. with a little twitch here and there, she asked what I wanted. I picked up on her tone and the stupid situation I just got myself into so I lied, telling her I was going home to see my wife and kids..

she said, "no really".. I said, "yes really"...

lol. I just am assuming your girl and j2s were both prostitutes. What kind of idiot asks random guys for rides that's not a pro. That's just askin to get raped.

[Hawk]

or a sure fire way to make some drug money

[bleys]

lol. I just am assuming your girl and j2s were both prostitutes. What kind of idiot asks random guys for rides that's not a pro. That's just askin to get raped.

hey, get it right, mine was a crackhead.

[j2sgam]

That broad did not look like a prostitute or a basehead... Like I said, I was young, naive and tryin to be a nice guy. It was cold out and I had nothing better to do... That nice guy sh_t doesnt happen anymore... as much...

[Hawk]

oh...so she was just looking for a little something warm in her belly

[j2sgam]

Yea, thats it.... At least somebody get it....

[bleys]

That broad did not look like a prostitute or a basehead... Like I said, I was young, naive and tryin to be a nice guy. It was cold out and I had nothing better to do... That nice guy sh_t doesnt happen anymore... as much...

amen.. (as much)