America as Game of Thrones Locations

[Delhommey]

 

Kings Landing = Washington, DC

It's the capitol, it's full of corrupt people vying for titles, and it's built on the backs of the poor. Everyone is vying for the Iron Throne and it's hard to figure out who to root for.

Winterfell = Boston, MA

Beautiful in the summer and uninhabitable in the winter. The inhabitants incorrectly think their city is the center of the empire. It is, however, the only real city in its region. (Providence? Really?) The people there are honorable and resilient, and spend much of their time watching sports. Not many black people.

The King's Road = I-95

A highly trafficked route from Winterfell to King's Landing, the road is littered with inns and merchants. There are also many bandits who live alongside it in dangerous places like New Haven, Newark, and Baltimore.

Beyond the Wall = Canada

It's cold, it's vast, and it's terrifying. But the wildlings are a good people once you get to know them. Also it's governed by a monarch far away who doesn't actually hold any real power in the people's minds.

Castle Black = Canadian Border Crossing

This is all that separates us from the unknown terror of the great white north. Also it's manned by a bunch of humorless guys that don't get laid.

The Iron Islands = Pittsburgh, PA

Cold, wet, gray, and nicknamed for metal, this is a place that was once prominent but is now full of working class people and pirates. And the pirates have been horrible for many years.

Casterly Rock = New York City

The regional capital (and the financial center of the Empire), it used to be ruled by a different group – until they were tricked into trusting a foreigner. Now it's ruled by rich people who think they're better parents than they are.

Lannisport = Greenwich, CT

Situated close to the main city, but far enough away that the citizens don't need to be bothered. Also, it's full of money and incest.

Harrenhal = Chicago, IL

It's rich, and it's on the way to most things. But the governing of it seems to be cursed as no one can rule it for long. And it burnt down once.

Valyria = Detroit, MI

Due to its fearsome beasts with great abilities to travel, this was once the center of the world and a shining jewel of civilization. But then a cataclysmic event rendered it a smoldering ruin of its former glory. The only thing that endures is a bit of their ancient music. And the secrets of manufacturing things there have long been forgotten.

Dorn = Napa Valley, CA

Remote area known for women, wine, and boringness.

The Dreadfort = North Dakota

A stronghold of the north but nowhere near as important as the center of the region. And unless you're from here, living here is torture.

Qarth = Savannah, GA

A wealthy port city, the inhabitants think that it's the greatest city that ever was or will be, and yet no one outside the city cares. Filled with many rich creepy people.

The Twins = West Virginia

A location that would be pointless were it not a river crossing en route to other, better places. It's filled with homely women with the occasional hot one sprinkled in. Also, weddings here can get out of hand.

Lys = Atlantic City, NJ

There are two main characteristics: it's surrounded by rough sea, and it's known far and wide for its pleasure houses.

High Garden = Berkeley, CA

In the far reaches of the realm, it is known as a flowery place with lax sexual attitudes. Also a garden of high.

Volantis = Santa Barbara, CA

A rich, old coastal village where the slaves aren't allowed to ever touch the nobility.

Storm's End = San Francisco, CA

A coastal city with a mighty fortress on the Bay. And it's gay friendly.

Yunkai = Reno, NV

A desert town that is known for its sex slaves and incompetent defenses.

Dothrak = Texas

Incorrectly thinks it's an independent country just because everyone there has weapons. Meanwhile most people who live in the capitol are unaware that this is a place.

Vaes Dothrak = Austin, TX

The cultural center of a vast wasteland, where the barbaric activities of the surrounding areas are banned within city walls. Full of people who struck out on their own because they hate their parents.

Red Waste = West Texas

Yup.

 

 

http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6902181/game-of-thrones-if-youre-an-american

 

[KSpan]

That's pretty good.

[CCS]

The Twins = West Virginia

A location that would be pointless were it not a river crossing en route to other, better places. It's filled with homely women with the occasional hot one sprinkled in. Also, weddings here can get out of hand.

 

 

 

fugkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk them.  There's like a surprising amount of poo to do here. It's not perfect but it's definitely not inferior to "other better places".  Hell, the girls really aren't that bad here either. Yes there's some ugly white trash wildebeests but there's also some hot ass southern belles. We're no Tempe or Miami but really nowhere can live up to that standard of hotness.