Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

The Ten Worst Superhero Movies of All Time

dixontosanders

By dixontosanders,
in Huddle Lounge

Recommended Posts

dixontosanders Newbie

dixontosanders

Posted
Posted

10. Superman III

This is the one with Richard Pryor, for those keeping score at home. There’s nothing quite like watching Supes play second banana to Pryor’s character, a computer savant who creates unstable synthetic Kryptonite by substituting tar for an unknown component in its mineral composition. That being said, this stinker is somewhat redeemed by the Evil Superman versus Clark Kent fight and the fact that the film’s “steal the fractions of cents left over after financial transactions” idea reappears as a subplot in Office Space.

9. Hulk

How do you screw up a Hulk movie? Apparently, you hire Ang Lee to direct it, cast Eric Bana as Bruce Banner, and make it as boring as possible. The only good things to come out of this snoozer were those foam “Hulk Hands” toys that were everywhere back in ‘03.

8. Captain America

A low-budget film from 1991, Captain America is just plain silly — right down to the rubber ears they glued to the side of Cap’s mask to create the illusion that his actual ears were sticking through. Stranger still is the fact that Cap’s archenemy, the Red Skull, is Italian instead of German. The Red Skull as a character essentially boils down to two defining traits: 1) he has a head that resembles a red skull and 2) he’s a frickin’ Nazi! Why make the guy Italian?

7. Steel

Shaquille O’Neal as Steel, a member of Superman’s supporting cast in the comics. Of course, the only connection between this film and Superman is the S-shield tattoo on Shaq’s arm. Honestly, Shaq is so bad here that he makes Michael Jordan’s performance in Space Jam look Oscar-worthy by comparison.

6. The Fantastic Four (1994)

The Fantastic Four movie released in 2005 wasn’t perfect, but it was leaps and bounds better than the version Roger Corman produced over a decade earlier. In fact, the 1994 version was never intended for release; it was made entirely so the studio could retain legal rights to the characters. Of course, The Fantastic Four eventually turned up at comic book conventions and on eBay, giving the world a peek at a literal joke of a superhero movie. Just check out the trailer if you don’t believe me. The special effects are a particular highlight, including a Human Torch that only “flames on” once in the entire movie and a Mr. Fantastic who stretches by means of a fake hand on a stick. Classy.

5. Batman & Robin

I suppose now is the time to insert the obligatory “nipples on the Batsuit” reference. Where should I begin with this one? Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl? Arnold Schwarzenegger’s awful ice puns? Gotham City’s Day-Glo street gangs? That scene where Batman produces a Bat Credit Card from his utility belt (expiration date: “Forever”)? The codpieces? Actually, what bugs me most about Batman & Robin is a scene early in the film in which Robin is being pulled underwater by Poison Ivy’s plants. At one point, he surfaces for air before being pulled back under. What makes the scene ridiculous, however, is that Joel Schumacher just reuses the same shot of Robin coming up for air in reverse to show him being dragged underwater again. That’s just plain lazy, Joel. As bad as Batman & Robin is, however, it’s somehow still not the worst movie in the Batman franchise.

4. Elektra

Enough to make viewers long for the deep characterization and intricate storytelling of Daredevil. It’s like a bad episode of Alias, only Sydney gets to say “poo” at one point. Yay, PG-13!

3. Batman Returns

I know a lot of people love this film, but I’d rather sit through a dozen viewings of Batman & Robin than watch fifteen minutes of Batman Returns. Like Tim Burton’s first Batman film, Batman Returns is all doom and gloom, starring a Caped Crusader who doesn’t mind taking criminals’ lives. Meanwhile, the Penguin is no longer a high-society criminal, but rather a disgusting sewer mutant who, at one point, straps rockets onto the backs of penguins to bomb Gotham City. Worse still, the interplay between Batman and Catwoman is supposed to be sexy, but it instead comes off stilted and awkward in large part because: 1) Michelle Pfeiffer can’t act, and 2) Michael Keaton can barely move in the Batsuit. Not even Christopher Walken could save this one from Burton’s bizarre vision of the Batman mythos.

2. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

My favorite part of Superman IV is when Superman uses his heretofore unseen “Rebuilding the Great Wall of China Vision” after a portion of the monument is destroyed by Nuclear Man (groan). Low-budget and lame, I wondered what went wrong with this film even as a ten-year-old.

1. Catwoman

Film exec: “Hey, remember how Halle Berry almost ruined the X-Men movies with her awful performance as Storm? Well, how does this idea sound? We’ll cast her as Catwoman! Only it won’t be the Catwoman from the comic books or Batman Returns. It won’t even be set in Gotham City! This is an all-new Catwoman, a heroine with feline superpowers! Oh, and remember that shiny black costume Michelle Pfeiffer wore as Catwoman? We’ll replace it with something far skimpier, but decidedly less sexy. The audience will eat it up with a spoon!” Someone should revoke Halle Berry’s Oscar for this debacle.

http://wiw.org/~jess/archives/2007/05/04/worst-superhero-movies/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • frankw
      PFF ranks the 2025 starting QBs

      By frankw · Posted

      We both know there's more that goes into batted passes than just the height of the QB. Most people here have readily acknowledged this and there were numerous discussions about it before we drafted Young. But if you are presenting a POV that Bryce's height hasn't tied to issues with his footwork then there's nothing anyone is going to be able to say to sway you and you know this. Even beyond the footwork I recall a redzone play where Bryce couldn't see around his right tackle at all where a receiver was waiting practically alone in the end zone for a touchdown. There are real world circumstances that are going to show up over the course of the upcoming season and it's up to Bryce and Dave Canales to make adjustments and do anything they can to mitigate negative instances and yes that begins with Bryce's footwork again. Thanks for your time. Have a nice weekend.
    • Icege
      PFF ranks the 2025 starting QBs

      By Icege · Posted

      I'm arguing that should those supposed deficiencies, like height or pocket footwork, be as consequential as you and others have claimed, then there would be a clear, observable impact in the data. That's not unreasonable. For example, batted passes are often used as a size-related concern (see: Baker Mayfield), yet Bryce ranked among the lowest in deflections at the line. If his stature is such a limitation, why isn't it showing up there? Or are you suggesting that's why his passing yards fall short of your expectations? If the latter, I would hope that you're not discounting yards left on the field due to drops (of which he led the league in).  Also, asking for specific, measurable benchmarks isn't aggression... it's accountability. If that feels uncomfortable, it might be worth reflecting on how much of your anti-Bryce argument is grounded in subjective perception rather than objective metrics. So, again: do you have any specific KPIs beyond total passing yardage, height, and weight that you consider relevant to evaluating whether a QB is top-10? If you want to add YPA and passing yards per game to those metrics, that's fair, just be clear about it. But let's not pretend that asking for clarity is some kind of provocation. I'm simply trying to understand the actual criteria... not just the vibes.
    • PantherChris
      Ocho Cinco loves one of our CBs

      By PantherChris · Posted

      Jackson actually played quite well for a #2 CB #54 in PFF coverage ratings 12 pass break ups solid in run defense..... Hes gonna be targeted just because Jacyee IS being avoided.
×
×
  • Create New...