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Advice...


lightsout

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So, I haven't seen my girlfriend in 2 months. I will spend three days, two nights with here in a couple of weeks. She decided to ask me tonight if I would mind if she decided not to have sex those nights. Now, its one thing to come up with an excuse once the time comes, its another to ask the question. So, what does it mean? She claims she likes not having to worry about pregnancy, although I wear a condom and I pull out (yes, I know, still possible. But the likelihood is marginal). My mind is telling me she's just not that interested, which would mean she has emotionally pulled away due to long distance strain, and she doesn't believe we will last, thus, doesn't want a last time session to leave her "stuck" with me. I could be over-analyzing, but I could be right.

What are your thoughts? Yes, I know, I sound pathetic coming on here with my relationship problems, but I'm a man, so I don't have a diary. This is as good as a blog. I just feel better getting this stuff out in the open. But please, any thoughts/opinions are much appreciated.

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I have known her for 7 years. We have been dating almost 4. I was fuging her about once a week or so, sometimes more, sometimes less, and it was good times.

I would not necessarily say it means anything then and you may be looking too much into it, I'd say try your luck anyway she may give in!

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I would not necessarily say it means anything then and you may be looking too much into it, I'd say try your luck anyway she may give in!

She may! I'd rather have a raincoat and not need it then need one and not have it! haha. But seriously, its just weird. I kind of know the long distance thing is a baaaad idea waiting to explode into a downfall of epic proportions, but after nearly 4 years, its hard to just pack it in and say "we uh...we're fuggin over, aren't we?" Woe is me. :(

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She may! I'd rather have a raincoat and not need it then need one and not have it! haha. But seriously, its just weird. I kind of know the long distance thing is a baaaad idea waiting to explode into a downfall of epic proportions, but after nearly 4 years, its hard to just pack it in and say "we uh...we're fuggin over, aren't we?" Woe is me. :(

Yeah I know what you mean, I'm not suggesting rape or anything crazy like that but since she isn't a virgin and it's not ya'lls first time she may just see you and change her mind and give in, females are hard to figure out!:nono:

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Yeah I know what you mean, I'm not suggesting rape or anything crazy like that but since she isn't a virgin and it's not ya'lls first time she may just see you and change her mind and give in, females are hard to figure out!:nono:

Amen to that brother. She gives into it almost every time. She thinks that is the only reason I come see her. And I'm not gonna lie, its a big part of it (i mean...I'm a guy. I could be a douche bag boyfriend, bang some big boob blonde at college and call it a day). But I genuinely go see her for HER. Sex is a 2 hour part of the day just before sleep/as soon as I wake up. Its been 2 months. Can she really blame me?! :rolleyes:

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How old are you ?

fug it doesn't matter.

That ain't gonna fly for long.

Think about what you are giving up, and what she is giving up.

Then decide if a long distance thing is really worth it.

I hear what you're saying. To be honest, I don't have a lot of faith about it either, cause if I'm going to be in a relationship, I have to have the face-to-face interaction. I hate talking on the phone. We're doing the whole Skype deal, and it helps, but its hard to cover up the fact that we are 4 hours apart. We're both young, and due to us being together for so long, we never really got a chance at dating. But the thing that is holding me to her is just the fact that she has (as cliche and gay as it sounds) always been my best friend. She's helped me through a LOT of crap. And I would hate to give that up, because I have a hard time trusting most people.

Weird, I say that and I'm asking complete strangers for opinions on my relationship. haha. But yeah, our odds of making it are about 40% right now in my eyes, but it CAN work. Just a matter of if we BOTH WANT IT TO. And we won't really know till we are both back at college. I'm considering trying to start playing football again (if I can gain what I have lost since 08 and get back in shape. Then make it through a try out), or being an undergrad-assistant coach to help my resume in the future. So, with those types of commitments, its hard to imagine managing a long distance relationship on top of it.

But good words of wisdom Kurb!

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have the talk man, and by that I mean asking her if its time to take a break so that you can both grow as people without worrying so much about the other. you could each realize in that time how right you are for one another, or you could realize you've been fooling yourself all along. i more or less did this in college. with my wife.

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