Impress your guests/hosts this thanksgiving by making RB's own pepperoni bread

[frash.exe]

are you a prospective in-law trying to desperately win the approval of her parents?

mulling over what to have for lunch before visiting the soup kitchen?

want to show the wifey you can actually cook something without setting off the smoke alarm so you can go ahead and baste that turkey later on that night and really be thankful for something?

whatever your motive, Raging Bull's Good as Hell Pepperoni Bread is sure to cure all doubts. I'll tell you what you'll need, and exactly how to make it. Skip the reading parts and absorb the bold if you don't have the time, but it is recommended you do for extra info and lulz.

Ingredients

What you already have: You'll need one or two eggs, depending on how many loaves you make. If you make one loaf, one egg, two, two eggs, etc. Also some flour is needed, if you don't have any you don't have to go crazy, just get the smallest bag of flour you can find. Also if you have some grated parmesan/romano cheese, doesn't hurt at all to add some, but if you don't, no need to go crazy. And some butter to melt in the microwave.

What you'll need: 1/2 lb of sliced pepperoni. you'll need to get this fresh from the deli at your supermarket or butcher, but most likely supermarket or deli because only some old school italians still get their meat at the butcher. Don't get that vacuum sealed pepperoni from the side because they'll just rip you off. 1/2 lb will give you more than enough to make 1, and even 2, and it's only gonna cost you some $4. Plus you'll have some leftover to make delicious pepperoni sandwiches. Don't skimp and get the sliced pepperoni you put on a pizza. IT'S NOT GOING TO BE BIG ENOUGH AND YOU WILL LOOK LIKE A FOOL TRYING TO ROLL IT UP LATER ON WHILE ALL THE LITTLE PIECES FALL OUT. Get the sandwich size slices at the deli.

1 or 2 1 lb (16 oz) packs of whole milk mozzarella cheese. Each loaf takes about 11 or 12 ounces of cheese, so if you're making one, you need only one, and if you're making two, you'll need two packs. Yea you can skip the grating part and get the pre-shredded bag but you're going to need to burn some calories because this isn't the healthiest thing to eat in the world after all.

1 or 2 lbs of raw pizza dough. each loaf has 1 lb of dough. this will probably be the hardest to find as not many supermarkets sell good dough, or any dough at all, my suggestion is to find a bakery and buy it fresh, but if you don't have any of those means you can simply get the pillsbury pizza crust canned dough next to the tollhouse salmonella cookies.

Ok, i got all these ingredients, what the fug do i do with them?

Prep-For whatever surface you are going to roll the dough on, whether cutting board, kitchen table, hood of your car, whatever, make sure you flour the fug out of that thing. If you've ever handled raw dough before you know how sticky that poo is. Also if you're not already cooking that turkey and don't have the oven on for some reason, preheat from 325-375. A low temp in that range is recommended so the cheese doesn't melt while the dough is still rising.

Next you wanna roll that dough out so it's roughly the size and dimension of your average household cookie sheet. Oh, and make sure you have a cookie sheet or two as well.

After that, glaze the one side you're putting ingredients on with the butter. Let me emphasize you really don't need much, just enough to help the mozzarella bond with the dough.

Next put the shredded mozzarella on the dough, and then grated parmesan/romano if you have it. also some nice basil or other italian seasoning would be good to season it with, but don't go nuts and crack black pepper over it, it will be spicy enough.

Then, it's time to lay the pepperoni slice by slice on the concoction. The best sequence is something like this:

Next you roll it up sort of like a jelly roll. make sure to pinch the ends of the dough and make sure it's bonded to itself to minimize cheese leakout in the oven. By this i mean make sure no pepperoni or cheese is sticking out anywhere. Next lay it diagonally on a greased/sprayed cookie sheet.

Then stick it in the oven. Alone it will take i think about 25-35 minutes, but if you've already got other food cooking in there it might take longer. All you really need to see to know it's finished is if the dough looks cooked and risen.

What comes out should look like this

i should note it shouldn't look like the one on the bottom right, i fuged that one up somehow, but that picture was taken around easter last year and i don't remember why it looked like that.

then to prepare you simply slice it like a loaf of bread and serve. makes a great appetizer and really holds up in the leftover department. it's kinda fattening but fug it it's thanksgiving pig out go nuts but don't sue me if you have a heart attack, in other words eat at your own risk. J/K, it's no worse than eating a slice of pizza.

[Jangler]

My Tip. Aluminum foil makes easy clean up.

[LifeisaGarden]

are you already an in-law trying to desperately win the approval of his parents?

Fixed and No, they already love me more than him.

But your recipe looks really good, I might try it sometime. That thing could use some Ricotta & Parmesan cheese though.