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BJ stories...


Darth Biscuit

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I don't believe either one of you!!! there has to be some sort of story!

Im serious, I don't have one embarrassing/bad story....is that bad?

The only exciting thing about it would maybe be location but that's all I got.

I tend to have a harder time convincing the opposite than them convincing me to do anything.

so fug you all.

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Well, this one is pretty damn wild honestly. But it's actually one of my tamer stories. It was the summer of 1995 and I had just turned 23 years old. I was on summer break from the University of North Carolina and I was back packing through Peru. I had been hiking for about a week when I met a villiager named Aka-Piku who was hiking back to her village. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my entire life, with dark tanned skin, D sized boobs, and a round cushy ass. I immediately lusted after her and it made it even worse since she was only wearing a grass skirt. So being the quick thinking man I was I asked her if I could accompany her back to her village which was about a 3 day hike, my plan was to womanize her and give her my seed during those three days.

On day one I worked on her calling her beautiful and such but I didn't get too far, on day two I could tell that she obviously wanted me, and finally on day three I hit the jack pot. We had made a camp about 20 miles from Aka's village and were spending the night there. She was cuddled up in my arms when I randomly popped a boner, she lovingly looked up at me and said "sucky sucky pee pee"

So I dropped my pants as Aka-Piku gave me a blissful blowjob. I wanted to have intercourse with her but she said no, she's a christian and they don't do those kinds of things. She sucked me for a good 4 minutes before I felt the rumbling of a explosion coming, but just as I jizzed she pulled me out of her mouth and my jizz shot (not shitting you) about 20 feet through the air into a tree, hitting a small spider monkey in the eye and killing him instantly.

This DELIGHTED Aka-Piku because according to a village prophecy there would one day be a great monkey killer who shoots monkeys out of trees and provides food for the entire village. So we walked back to her village and Aka told the tribe that I am the chosen one, and that if they "sucky sucky pee pee" I can provide food. So one by one all of the village women lined up to blow me as I shot my loads into the Forest one after another until I had killed around 10 monkeys. I stayed with that tribe for about 2 weeks, and they brought me into the woods to go hunting every day I was there. I'll never forget that tribe of Peruvian spider monkey eaters <3

:lol: epic satire, brilliantly written.

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furthest I ever got was 2nd base... and then the girl went from cute to smoking hot in 3 years.. :(

smoked plenty of times, even smuggled some herb to Puerto Rico during a mission trip. snuck out at night to smoke some hoodlums up on a mountain. incredible trip.

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furthest I ever got was 2nd base... and then the girl went from cute to smoking in 3 years.. :(

smoked plenty of times, even smuggled some herb to Puerto Rico during a mission trip. snuck out at night to smoke some hoodlums up on a mountain. incredible trip.

Huh? :confused:

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Im serious, I don't have one embarrassing/bad story....is that bad?

The only exciting thing about it would maybe be location but that's all I got.

I tend to have a harder time convincing the opposite than them convincing me to do anything.

so fug you all.

I didn't realize it had to be "bad" or "embarrassing." I was thinking sensual, sexy, raunchy ... whatever.

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