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What do I do with my 16 year old?

Darth Biscuit

By Darth Biscuit,
in Huddle Lounge

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Darth Biscuit Proficient

Darth Biscuit

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Is there a "cool" relative, someone he might be more relaxed around, that he could drive with?

If so you can at least figure out if he's nervous because of driving with dad/mom/grandpa etc

I don't think it's nervous because of who it is, I think he's just nervous/scared because he's unsure of his ability... but no, there are no cool uncles or anything... my wife's brother is kinda weird.

Does he ride a riding lawn mower to cut the grass? Go karts? Anything motorized that gets him in the habit of smooth accelerations, decelerations, curves, etc.

I guess I could send him out to my dad's to drive his golf cart around... that's actually a great idea.

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mr beauxjangles Newbie

mr beauxjangles

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Try a very calculated approach to when you let him drive. Take him out on a long drive where all he has to do is stay in one lane on a country road for an extended period of time - 15, 20, 30 minutes - with little traffic around. Put him in a situation where he gets comfortable behind the wheel, and relatively confident, before having to face the situations that make him nervous or timid (large intersections, merging onto an interstate, whatever they may be). This is the approach that I took when teaching my girlfriend how to drive a manual. She was actually pretty good at it and got the hang of it quick when I first taught her in a parking lot, but she was really nervous about getting on the road with other drivers (fear of stalling and looking like an idiot and fear of forgetting what to do and messing up my car/clutch/trans/etc).

edit: just saw KK's comment and your response. guess you've tried this.

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car5nc Newbie

car5nc

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Practice makes perfect..well better at least. On the bright side be glad he's timid behind the wheel and not some aggressive "i've been driving for 6 months and an expert" teenager. Confidence will come. My son is not the best driver but is getting better. But to help our doubts we got him a 98 Dodge Truck (a tank) just in case something were to happen. Good Luck...

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Hawk Newbie

Hawk

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i feel your pain my friend... My son scared the living crap out of me when he got his permit. I think its dad more than son though, as others have posted, parents make kids nervous sometimes... My suggestions:

1) talk to him about your concerns, if you are honest then he will as well. My dad made me so damn nervous i couldnt focus at all.

2) try letting him drive with someone else... My older brother made me feel so much more comfortable, by just telling me things i was doing wrong and most importantly what i was doing right.

3) when you're driving, explain to him what and why you are doing certain things... Don't worry he'll get it, just be patient and relax. Turn some music on and enjoy it, because before ya know it... He's grown.

Good luck dad!

this!!!

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lightsout Grand Master

lightsout

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I have an EASY fix here.

He is timid? He lacks confidence? Doesn't take chances, but want him to take enough to be effective WHILE being safe at the same time? Here you go. Find a HOT chick. Put her in the passenger seat. Have her whisper in his ear "get me home safe, baby. I'm ready to get to know you..." then see what happens.

If THAT doesn't make him get home quick, and safely, nothing will.

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Darth Biscuit Proficient

Darth Biscuit

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I have an EASY fix here.

He is timid? He lacks confidence? Doesn't take chances, but want him to take enough to be effective WHILE being safe at the same time? Here you go. Find a HOT chick. Put her in the passenger seat. Have her whisper in his ear "get me home safe, baby. I'm ready to get to know you..." then see what happens.

If THAT doesn't make him get home quick, and safely, nothing will.

Find the hot chick... send her to my office to approve.

Note: This may take several tries to get it right... I'll let you know when you do. :D

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PanthaSan Newbie

PanthaSan

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I agree, practice and time behind the wheel wil help make him more confident.

Sorta like sex.

Is he like that only with you?

How is he when he is with other folks and his Dad isn't there, screaming and yelling at him?

Or,

Get him a 1970's Chevy truck. Lotsa steel and he wont have to worry about hitting stuff.

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TheSmartGuy Newbie

TheSmartGuy

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Could I ask WHY he has to drive now? Another question is does he have a cell phone? Some people believe it or not just do not have the mental ability to operate a car when they are just 16. They may need to wait several more years. If he has a cell phone and plans to drive you may want to get extra life insurance on him and extra coverage on YOUR insurance to protect you when he screws up...AND HE WILL SCREW UP.

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Darth Biscuit Proficient

Darth Biscuit

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I agree, practice and time behind the wheel wil help make him more confident.

Sorta like sex.

Is he like that only with you?

How is he when he is with other folks and his Dad isn't there, screaming and yelling at him?

Or,

Get him a 1970's Chevy truck. Lotsa steel and he wont have to worry about hitting stuff.

Well, the vehicle he will have if I ever let him is a 1995 Jeep Grand Cherokee, so it's not a little car or something... I don't scream and yell... but yeah, he's not so great even like with my mom or dad with him.

Could I ask WHY he has to drive now? Another question is does he have a cell phone? Some people believe it or not just do not have the mental ability to operate a car when they are just 16. They may need to wait several more years. If he has a cell phone and plans to drive you may want to get extra life insurance on him and extra coverage on YOUR insurance to protect you when he screws up...AND HE WILL SCREW UP.

Smart's aren't the issue... the kid is smart... straight A's, into tech stuff, reads at a college level, poo like that...

I think it's partly a hand/eye coordination thing and a confidence thing...

Edit: Oh and he doesn't HAVE to drive now... it would make things easier on his mom and I for stuff like taking him to school and errand running etc.

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charlotte49er Newbie

charlotte49er

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Buy the young chap some driving simulation software and a steering wheel with pedals.

That's actually a pretty good idea.

Years ago, Jagues Villenuve ran Monaco F1 race for the frist time and won!. Monaco is a street course and is only run once a year , so it's not like you can practice on it.

When asked how he did it. He said he locked himself in his hotel room and ran the Monaco course on his Play Station for like 4 days straight.

Get his Grand Theft Auto and lock him in his room! :D

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