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Greg Schiano: Breaking Madden


SgtJoo

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http://www.sbnation.com/2013/10/23/4862062/greg-schiano-breaking-madden

 

Buccaneers head coach Greg Schiano is off to an 0-6 start. Clearly, he does not have enough of his esteemed "Schiano Men" on his roster. Let's release everyone on the Tampa Bay roster, replace them with copies of Greg Schiano, and have us a nightmare.

 

I released every single real-world member of the Buccaneers from the team, and replaced them with 44 identical copies of Greg Schiano. I'm pretty happy, I'll have you know, with how my virtual Schianos turned out.

 

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The Panthers finished with 38 sacks -- thirty eight! -- and perhaps this GIF can help to illustrate how that happened.

 

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PANTHERS 412, BUCCANEERS 0.
 
Now, according to the game's scoreboard, I had only won 292-0, and scored zero points in the fourth quarter.
 
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Stats of interest:
 
Panthers offense: 571 yards, 5:40 time of possession
 
Buccaneers offense: Negative-231 yards, 21 turnovers, 54:20 time of possession
 
Panthers defense: 38 sacks, 25 forced fumbles, 19 fumble recoveries, 5 safeties, 12 defensive touchdowns
 
Key cogs of the Buccaneers' offense: Greg Schiano (22/55 passing, 129 yards, 2 INT), Greg Schiano (18 rushes, 24 yards), Greg Schiano (10 attempts, -8 yards), Greg Schiano (7 attempts, -4 yards), Greg Schiano (5 attempts, -8 yards), Greg Schiano (1 attempt, -1 yard)
 
Head coach Greg Schiano tried everything. He even tried rushing once with his punter, Greg Schiano. Nothing mattered. By the end of the game, the Bucs had suffered injuries to Greg Schiano, Greg Schiano, Greg Schiano, Greg Schiano, Greg Schiano, Greg Schiano, and Greg Schiano.

 

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