Captroop

Agreed. YouTube and Reddit were fine. But this was pretty much the entirety of my sports app comment section:

- quote from an internet rando to an internet rando

I've been reading a few articles about yesterday's game, and then making my way down to the comments section. I was surprised by how overwhelmingly negative the comments were: "Sir Cameron Newton: Leader of Men, Lover of Puppies...Esquire," "The Cardinals didn't have Kyler or Hopkins," "He's washed," "Only 8 yards passing." On and on and on and on... And then I realized something. Damn, this feels good! As good as I feel basking in the glow of victory, and the poetry of Cam being a Panther again, I must admit, it needed a little extra flavor. And all the salt people are coming out of the woodwork to dish out today... It's been a couple years, so I forgot the Panthers experience isn't complete without haters popping up to talk poo nonstop about Cam Newton. I didn't realize how much I missed it. I didn't realize how much we needed it, and how much it's part of our identity. Because as upsetting as it might be to have people talking poo about us when we're trying to enjoy our win, it means they're talking about us. Two years. Two long years of silence. Two painfully long years of irrelevance. Just bland, flavorless, nothing. And then Cam's back. And then we win. And all of a sudden people can't shut up about us. It feels so right. So come on, haters. Dish it out! You're just making it better!

The offense not being a liability shows just how good this defense really is. We might actually have a contender here, boys!

Certainly.

Make millions of dollars in a single day, then nosh on some microwave brussel sprouts on a private jet. I don't know if that's country, but it's a lifestyle I could very much get into.

I'm not watching anything by Pat Macafee until that mf puts on a shirt.

Then we'll feel reeeeeally good about him being our backup!

Thanks for (re)sharing! I don't know if people can truly appreciate how fugging hard it is to draw something blurry, but that's an amazingly talented artist.

Yeah, you're too good for it. Better fug off, then. Woe betide us who remain here.

Jeez, chill Shaq. Are you really surprised reporters are asking about probably the most significant story in sports today?

This isn't said in a mean-spirited way but: Someone like Cam wouldn't miss the opportunity to do so.

I believe that. I also don't think it makes a difference.

Guys, I know it's only been an hour, but I'm not sure I can wait the full four hours before calling my doctor about this erection.

I think it would benefit Sam. But I think the fans have turned on Sam, and I don't think he can win them back. He needs some time as a QB to get his head right. But I don't see him stepping on the field for the Panthers again being met with anything other than boos.

I love Luke enough to say that I never want to see him ever play another down of football. Health and long life to the greatest LB in Panthers history.

Honestly, today's a day to quietly release Darnold. Everyone will be caught up with the hoopla of the Cam announcement, it would basically go unnoticed.

I kinda know what you mean, actually. I never knew how much I really wanted something I didn't want until today.

Well, that settles that then. We know who made the decision!

There are honestly those kinds of days when there's such a big news story that you can just discount the rest of the day, because all I'll be thinking about is the event. This, I'm surprised, is turning out to be one of those days.

This thread's not about him. Positive vibes only.

fug YEAH!!!

NO! But I still want it to happen. In honor of the new Buzz Lightyear trailer: It's not flying. It's falling...with style!