Thank god I got so drunk I let my dog chew my toe off

[natty]

http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2010/08/dog_eats_rockford_mans_big_toe.html

[Samuel L. Jackson]

lawl... They act like the dog is an accomplished surgeon...

He probably got tired of the stench...

[The Saltman]

Kiko apparently sensed an infection festering in his master's right big toe -- and chewed most of it off after Douthett passed out in a drunken stupor.

[Carolina Husker]

Title should have been "Dog outsmarts God."

[natty]

Even before surgery, he said he asked a nurse, "Is there any chance I can get whatever's left of my toe, so I can give it to Kiko as a treat?"

He said she replied, "That's the sickest thing I ever heard."

[Captroop]

"The toe was gone," said Douthett. "He ate it. I mean, he must have eaten it, because we couldn't find it anywhere else in the house. I look down, there's blood all over, and my toe is gone."

This quote in particular piqued my interest. They never found the toe? That's a little suspect. And pets tend to tear and drag. The dog probably would have chewed off the toe and took it to his favorite spot to eat it. But the blood was localized to directly under where is foot was.

And whose wife actually chauffers them around town to get schwasty?

Anyone else get the feeling that the wife got him drunk and cut off his toe while he slept fearing he would chicken out of going to the doctor the next day? He had already avoided medical attention before. Maybe she just got tired of waiting, did the deed herself, and gave the classic "the dog must have ate it" excuse. (Honestly people, dogs aren't the only ones eating your leftovers, and not all of those farts are coming from the dog either)

[CharlotteBeer.com]

This quote in particular piqued my interest. They never found the toe? That's a little suspect. And pets tend to tear and drag. The dog probably would have chewed off the toe and took it to his favorite spot to eat it. But the blood was localized to directly under where is foot was.

And whose wife actually chauffers them around town to get schwasty?

Anyone else get the feeling that the wife got him drunk and cut off his toe while he slept fearing he would chicken out of going to the doctor the next day? He had already avoided medical attention before. Maybe she just got tired of waiting, did the deed herself, and gave the classic "the dog must have ate it" excuse. (Honestly people, dogs aren't the only ones eating your leftovers, and not all of those farts are coming from the dog either)

Since his wife was a registered nurse who had urged him to go to the hospital before all this, I'd say there's something to your theory.

[TheSaint]

good thing he didnt have syphillis