Jump to content
  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Huddle Celebrity Roast thread: Saltman


Matt Foley

Recommended Posts

Ladies and gentleman, welcome to our first Huddle celebrity roast thread. Our guest of dishonor has declared jihad on our senses with his posts. Although he just surpassed 1,000 in rep, his jokes have turned the Huddle into Ground Zero. We will give him the final word, but before then, have at him. Who shall be first among us to throw stones?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If there's one thing ol' Saltman knows about it, it's roasting... Jews, Zionists and Crusaders- the lot. Roasting? Gah, I bet the twig and berries get roasting in those full-length robes out in those deserts! There's nothing like roasting marshmallows over I.E.D. fires!! It's funny- Saltman married the first woman he saw when he left his terrorist cell for good. His words, "You are the fairest skinned woman I have ever beheld." Which, technically is true, since back home, women aren't allowed to show their skin!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some people say he's a good guy, but I don't trust anyone who won't eat bacon. His little book of Islam says kill the infidels but don't have a ham sammich. fug that stupidity. Then there's his homosexuality. If he had as many pricks sticking out of him as he's had in him, he'd look like a Allah damned porcupine. The only reason he likes turd cutters so much is because he can tag his wife and pretend that her obnoxiously droopy vagina is a pair of balls.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Allow me to start by extending a "hello, how are you all doing?" in Saltman's native tongue "ali di jihad, clon durka durka?" Really, though, Saltman. How was the 9/11 celebration at your place? Did you set up a game of Jenga, then set it on fire? Or was it the Game of Life, just so you can set up IEDs on all the "Pay Day" spots? You know, the more rep you have, the smaller your penis. Which, I guess it doesn't matter. The Saltman is so salty that he dissolves after every blowjob!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL. Saltman is going to kill me. At least he'll take himself out in the process. Ba dum psh!

Hey, it's an honor both being a roaster and being the roasted. I'm sure he will take it as such. He may actually gloat about it. Meat, you may have created a monster.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • I can't get behind a purely subjective re-draft as a method of defining "top-10 QB" status. That invites bias based on vibes/hypotheticals and can ignore actual on-field performance. You and others have said that Bryce has to be a top-10 QB to justify the pick. That's a high bar, which I'm not against, but we need a clear, consistent way to measure it. When I bring up metrics that Bryce has registered in the top-10 in like BTT%, P2S ratio, catchable deep ball rate, etc... they're waved off as either irrelevant or the expected baseline performance. Meanwhile, volume stats like passing yards or win-loss records, both of which depend heavily on roster talent, health, and coaching, are treated as definitive. That's where the inconsistency kicks in. If no performance metric ever counts in his favor and the answer is always going to be "he should be doing that," then we're not evaluating him... we're just holding him to a curve he can't win against. If this is really about performance standards, then let's define them. But if it's just about confirming prior takes based on height and weight, then let's call it what is it and stop pretending that this is a football analysis discussion.
    • Just to be clear: I'm not "downplaying" the talent around Bryce... I'm qualifying it. There's a big difference between saying, "we finally have building blocks that we're actually developing" and "we've done enough to say this is a finished product, NO EXCUSES!" It's possible to believe that the 2023 situation was bad and to believe that the current state, while improved, is still incomplete. That's not inconsistency; that's nuance. As for the footwork stuff, again, I've seen the same clips as others. The claim that Bryce is hopping to see over the line just isn't one I've seen corroborated by analysts or tape breakdown. "Both feet off of the ground to throw" happens a ton for QBs (ex: Mahomes, Rodgers, Purdy, etc.), especially when improvising. You're right that there were some encouraging flashes from Bryce last season, and it's nice to finally hear that after so much time was spent pretending otherwise. I'm not arguing that Bryce is elite, I'm just asking that we evaluate him using consistent, measurable criteria to determine his status as a top-10 QB... whether it's via 3rd down %, red zone efficiency, turnover-worthy plays, or yes, big-time throws (which, by the way, has been a valid part of QB evaluation across the league for years even if it wasn't used here during Kyle Allen or Teddy Bridgewater's years. For reference: Allen had 20 BTT at a 3.9% rate. Teddy had 17 BTT at 3.3%). Like you, I'm hoping to see a competent, entertaining offense this season. That's a baseline we can all root for, even if we don't have the same baseline for what makes a QB top-10 (which, to be fair, is what this conversation has been about... though I respect the attempt to reframe it).
    • I am optimistic that we might be on the verge of fielding a sustainable offense finally. The Bryce stats listed above are definitely encouraging. I don’t want to overly inflate this and disregard the previous 1 and a half seasons of production from Bryce and “cherry pick” stats but do hope the benching turns into an inflection point in his trajectory.      Lots of excitement heading into this season. 
×
×
  • Create New...