Used Yoga Mat for sale..Best of Craigslist

[Mrs Pantherfan]

Yoga mat for sale. Used once.

Date: 2011-09-13, 10:32PM PDT

Yoga mat for sale. Used once at lunch hour class in December 2009. Usage timeline as follows:

11:45a

Register for hot yoga class. Infinite wisdom tells me to commit to 5 class package and purchase a yoga mat. I pay $89.74. Money well spent, I smugly confirm to myself.

11:55a

Open door to yoga room. A gush of hot dry air rushes through and past me. It smells of breath, sweat and hot. Take spot on floor in back of room next to cute blonde. We will date.

11:57a

I feel the need to be as near to naked as possible. This is a problem because of the hot blonde to my left and our pending courtship. She will not be pleased to learn that I need to lose 30 pounds before I propose to her.

11:58a

The shirt and sweats have to come off. I throw caution to the wind and decide to rely on my wit and conditioning to overcome any weight issues my fiancée may take issue with. This will take a lot of wit and conditioning.

11:59a

Begin small talk with my bride to be. She pretends to ignore me but I know how she can be. I allow her to concentrate and stare straight ahead and continue to pretend that I don't exist. As we finish sharing our special moment, I am suddenly aware of a sweat moustache that has formed below my nose. This must be from the all the whispering between us.

the rest can be found here...it's a tad long but extremely funny :)

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/2597736393.html

[logic1977]

Ok, that was worth the time to read it, very good

[Guest]

I have to go to a dance recital at my daughters school tonite and I'll read it then. Thanks MPF!!

[pstall]

Craigslist is the chocolate fountain at golden corral of comedy. Love it

[Hotsauce]

good stuff

[Mrs Pantherfan]

I was crying..literal tears ...after I finished reading this part

12:52p

It is now 140 degrees and 100% humidity. I am covered from head to toe in sweat. There is not a square millimeter on my body that is not slippery and sweaty. I am so slimy that I feel like a sea lion or a maybe sea eel. Not even a bear trap could hold me. The sweat is stinging my eyeballs and I can no longer see.

12:55p

This room stinks of asparagus, cloves, tuna and tacos. There is no food in the room. I realize that this is an amalgamation of the body odors of 30 people in a 140 degree room for the last 55 minutes. Seriously, enough with the asparagus, ok?

1:01p

140 degrees and 130% humidity. Look, bitch, I need my space here so don't get all pissy with me if I accidentally sprayed you with sweat as I flipped over. Seriously, is that where this relationship is going? Get over yourself. We need counseling and she needs to be medicated. Stat!

[PhillyB]

good lord i just spent the last hour reading the postings on that section. hilarious

[pstall]

I was crying..literal tears ...after I finished reading this part

must spread rep. :lol: