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Okay, I like Bill Simmons, but damn

PantherBrew

By PantherBrew,
in Carolina Panthers

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Chaos Veteran

Chaos

Posted
Posted

Simmons has it all wrong. I'm a fan of Jake. I'm also a fan of horror movies.

Jake is like Freddy Kruger from the 80's films - he'll scare the living sh*t outta you, but when he attacks you're like "hell yeah!", loving every minute of it.

Plus, Jake has haunted my nightmares occassionally since January. Time to exorcise some demons!

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Fireball77 Newbie

Fireball77

Posted
Posted

Simmons should stick to sucking off the Red Sox and Patriots.

Even a lot of Pats fans are sick of his schtick.

He's a little like Easterbrook really. Just too too full of himself except he is oh so "uber-hip" with his little pop culture references and Easterbrook is the proud of being the self righteous 13 YO peeping tom "nerd". I haven't read a column of either of theirs in about 5 years.

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carolinarolls Newbie

carolinarolls

Posted
Posted

It's a bit extreme but it's dead on too. When he drops back my heart stops every time.

I do not liken that to someone's child being blinded by a lego but his inconsistency has left its mark.

To be fair I think his amazing plays have attributed to this feeling just as much as his disastrous ones over the years.

I like Bill Simmons.

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Delhommey Newbie

Delhommey

Posted
Posted

Come on, homers. If he'd written that line about a rival QB you'd be saying how funny it was.

He over does it and spends way too long setting poo up.

Big Daddy Drew said the same thing in a simple, didn't have to be set up by 5 lines of filler joke: every football fan watching Jake Delhomme play quarterback will do so with the same measure of trepidation a mafia witness has while turning a car key.

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Samuel L. Jackson Newbie

Samuel L. Jackson

Posted
Posted

Honestly, I thought it was a fitting analogy...

Granted, he tended to lean towards slamming him as a QB after...

Jake does give me that "Oh hell, what now?!?!?" feeling on most of his dropbacks... One thing I have noticed over the preseason though is that it appears to be the OL that should shoulder some of it... We may be amazing at running/run blocking, but to Jake's defense (rare for me) he does have a small pocket when it doesn't simply collapse..

There... I said it...

Most of our passing offense trouble, at this point in time of the '09-'10 season and quite possibly the past few years, seem to stem from poor protection and lack of creativity as much as they do the play of Jake Delhomme...

Small/collapsed pocket = too little time to make reads (especially when you lock onto read #1 forever (That IS a flaw in Jake's game) )and a resulting sack or forced attempt...

For this reason, I hope our passing offense features the Shotgun a little more, and has a few tweaks in the blocking schemes... I feel if Jake had just a LITTLE more time on plays where he makes his biggest mistakes, we wouldn't even be doubting him...

Jake has that wreckless gunslinger mentality, and it shows when he is forced to force things...

Surely, he'll do something at some point this season, and quite possibly this weekend, to make me take all these statements back and force me to revert to my "I hate Jake Delhomme" mentality, but at this point, I'm giving him another chance...

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SmootsDaddy89 Enthusiast

SmootsDaddy89

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"So this one time I was at my grandmother's house. My grandmother would always make me buttered biscuits when I would come over. She had fat skin folds hanging down from her arms that I would play with and I used to call them peanut butter and jelly for some reason. Her name was Maw-Maw. Sometimes she would walk across the room to the bathroom, farting the whole way there, like the put-putting of a train. Anyways, Brett Favre is totally old. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

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Fireball77 Newbie

Fireball77

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Posted

DH I don't agree, I think there have been games he has struggled in that he makes a play or two at the end to help the team win. Like that one game vs TB in whatever year, maybe 2006 where he ran for the 1st down on 4th and whatever to set up Kasay for the GW FG. One could even say the same for the Chi and SD games last year.

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