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Dumb Criminal Stories

Mr. Scot

By Mr. Scot,
in Huddle Lounge

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Mr. Scot Grand Master

Mr. Scot

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Inspired by Biscuit's "Ironic Name" thread.

America's Dumbest Criminals

The Bad Guys from 'Home Alone' weren't particularly good at their jobs. But the worst criminal ever? Maybe the guy who broke into a house in Portland, Oregon.

Burglar's 911 call: "I just broke in to a house, and the owners came home!"

911 operator: "Wait, you broke into a house?"

Burglar: "Yeah."

See, the operator didn't believe it either!

Timothy Chapek, 25, allegedly broke into a home in Portland, Oregon to take a shower. When he heard the owner come home, he got scared. And yes, called 911.

"They can hear me."

I love these stories :lol:

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Mr. Scot Grand Master

Mr. Scot

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A "top 21" list...

Dumbest 21 Criminals of the 21st Century (so far)

My personal favorite:

Gulfport, Florida: Shaquille McKinney, 14, decided to try his hand at telemarketing. Trouble is, he was selling drugs, and the potential buyer turned out to be a policeman. When McKinney cold-called Detective Matt Parks, the cop told him he had the wrong number. Before hanging up, the teen asked Parks if he wanted to buy drugs. The policeman agreed to meet in a nearby parking lot, where McKinney was arrested.
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Hawk Newbie

Hawk

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A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.

The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.

The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.

He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, ‘How much money do you make a week? A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, I make $400 a week. Why?

The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, ‘Here’s four weeks’ pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back.

‘Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the roomand asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did around here?

“From across the room came a voice,

‘Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.’

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Mr. Scot Grand Master

Mr. Scot

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Also from the above link:

Fort Myers Beach, Florida: Amateur criminal and professional dimwit Christopher Kron created his own personal "how not to commit burglary" instructional video when he tried to rob a restaurant after closing one night. Mistake #1: He tripped the alarm when he broke in. Mistake #2: He failed to flee after hearing the (not silent) alarm. Mistake #3: When ADT called the restaurant after being notified of the alarm, Kron answered the phone. Mistake #4: He gave the ADT employee his real name. Mistake #5: When he finally got the bright idea to leave, all he took was a bottle of Grand Marnier and a beer. Mistake #6: Having gotten away with the crime, he returned to the restaurant the next day and was recognized by an employee who had seen the surveillance video. Kron was arrested on the spot.
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