Apollo 18....waste of 3 dollars..

[Awesomeness!!]

So my friend convinces me to go watch this shitty movie last night, and this was Skyline esque.* SPOILER ALERT* So basically, after Apollo 17, NASA had another trip to the moon, Apollo 18. It was a Top Secret two man mission to the moon to do something....they never fully explained the mission. They get there, and find a Russian Spaceship there as well. The idiots go inside of a crater so some reason near the space ship where they find the dead Russian. They find a rock inside of his suit. They tell NASA, and of course NASA is all like ahhh we didn't know, then the next day/morning NASA tells them they could confirm that Russia had been on the moon blah blah blah. They set off to leave a short time later but of course their ship fails to take off. One of these dumbasses goes outside as if he could actually access what was wrong with the poo in the first place, only to be "attacked" but the Moon spiders or whatever they where. His buddy goes out to save him, and get him back into the ship, where they find out he was infected? Inside his cut they find a rock, which explodes of something. Later you can see the spider inside the ship but...again, none of this was ever explained. His buddy gets really bad, and eventually dies (keep reading) so he tells NASA. The directer of the DOD tells the healthy guy that they can't get them, but at least he died a hero. He has the bright idea of trying to the dock the Russian ship, with the one in orbit to get back to Earth. Well, his not so dead but also dead dumbass buddy is attacked again and basically killed, but he makes it to the ship, where he magically pilots it to orbit, (but not after his buddy attacked the ship with a hammer one last time, only to be "eaten"? why the moon spiders. Anyway, the ship takes off, and when they get into orbit, of course 0 gravity takes affect, I'm not sure100% what happened in this scene, I was texting, but my friend said it was dumb. Anyway, the guy in orbit dies as well I guess, but again, this was never explained.

This could have been really good, except for the C- acting, how they never explained the spider things, the rocks etc. Too many holes..don't even waste time downloading this..

[necroplasm]

last new movie i watched was thor and that was fugging horrible. the effects were cool but need more than that. but it's a marvel movie.

[Jangler]

saw both for free....so suck it!

[Happy Panther]

Kevin Bacon was great though, you have to admit.

[necroplasm]

could you see stars? lol

[The NFL Shield At Midfield]

You'd think having two guys isolated on the moon would make for some pretty creepy imagery and tons of slow-building tension. The movie is mostly just cheap jump scares and "omg wtf was that" fast cutaways.

I also like how

*WARNING SPOILERS FOR A pooTY MOVIE YOU SHOULDN'T SEE*

Liberty apparently collides with Freedom at the end, hurling all of this supposedly found footage that was shot on hand-held cameras into space, never to be recovered. That and how parasitic rock spider things have managed to evolve and survive in a place that's only been visited by other living things a handful of times starting 40 years ago.

Really I'm definitely a plebe when it comes to movies and I'm easily entertained, but this thing was total ass garbage. The definite highlight though was when the "official story" of the fate of the space d00ds was printed across the screen at the end and some obviously shaken 12 year old in front of me was like "... they lied to us."

[Miaoww]

Wow, paragraphs are your friend. That was a tough read.