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Developing Situation


hepcat

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So I work with this 28 year old woman at work. She's a server, new in town, just moved from Baton Rouge. She's nice, but a little on the strange side. So the story goes, bout two weeks ago, I was chatting her up after work (we work together at a bar, I'm the cook, her the server). We have a few drinks, and I invite her back to my place to smoke a bowl, since I live very close to the bar. So we go back, she comes back to my room, and we take a few rips. After were both good and stoned, she falls down on my bed and proclaims she is tired. Here's where I make my fatal error for this occasion, I shut off the light. I start trying to put the moves on her, but she spouts out "I'm celibate" and cuts off any chance I have. So she leaves not long after.

We talked about it, sort of, at work a week or so later, and she said that she got really anxious and had to flee. But I don't know...maybe it's the age difference.

But flash to tonight, I send her a text asking how shes doing, and eventually thru a few exchanges she invites me over but says "come over...friend." I ask her what she means by that and she says "first and foremost your friend." so basically I'm not getting any. I said I'll come over, then she asks if I'm bringing my guitar. I said do you have any beer? Could I sleep there if I couldn't drive home. Then she says, "No beer. You can sleep on the couch, you got green?" Like she can use me as her bitch and not give me any lovin or anything. She was like "so you comin over" and I said "nah" and she was like "ok?". Wish I was just gunna get some.

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Keep working on through her terms if you have nothing better. If you play by her rules and good times keep coming you could still bang her, but if you're not in the position you won't hit it. Truth be told shes still giving your the opportunity, if you're not in the positoin you won't have the opportunity. Just take a different attitude and enjoy the ride. if it doesn't work out into what you want within the time allotted you want then you can bail, but it's not a fruitless effort yet.

Some situations take more work than others, but it's still all good in the end.

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Pics? :D

Lotsa good advice here Hepcat. Some that stand out are:

Mush - Keep working on through her terms if you have nothing better. If you play by her rules and good times keep coming you could still bang her, but if you're not in the position you won't hit it. Truth be told shes still giving your the opportunity, if you're not in the positoin you won't have the opportunity. Just take a different attitude and enjoy the ride. if it doesn't work out into what you want within the time allotted you want then you can bail, but it's not a fruitless effort yet.

and...

Jangler - If you want it, must play the game and be patient. I think the "nah" was a good call though, just ignore her now and see what she does.

I say if you feel like she's just using you, be aloof. No sense in giving without getting.

Maybe because she is new in town, she is honestly looking for a friend to hang out with and you are a good choice because of the work relationship. Ask her to pay for the green every now and then, see what she says to that.

I call BS on the celibate thing. She could have been an Uber-Slut in BR and is trying not to get a label in the new town. Maybe she is just trying to see if you are patient.

Age difference? What is it and what are the ages? I don't believe in that having an adverse effect on the relationship as the current Mama-San is 28 and I'm 46.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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Best way to be aloof?

fug. Other. Women.

If she's saying she's celibate that probably means one of three things:

1. She's religious and/or a prude - You will have to do everything in your power to hit it, and you'll regret that you did as she will feel that sleeping with you is tantamount to giving you a $50,000 loan to help you pay off your bookie and avoid certain death.

2. She's had a bad experience - Rape, boyfriend dying, bad bad breakup, abuse, whatever. Yes she will eventually break down and sleep with you. Yes, she will bring so much baggage and crazy you will again regret your decision.

3. She’s not really celibate. She’s just celibate with you. – nuff said.

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