Dying sportswriter's blog

[Matt Foley]

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38771115/ns/today-today_health/

Man

[JakeFlake]

That tugs at your heartstrings right there. Wow.

[jasonluckydog]

Man...thats just sad and nice. If I was a woman I would be crying.

[Jangler]

I'm sure Dockery is.

[CharlotteBeer.com]

Poor guy. I think about dying a good bit -- probably more than a healthy 28-year-old should. I've come to the conclusion that life really is about the little things, as Mike writes. At least he's come to a certain piece.

[Jangler]

Chemo is hell on Earth, can't blame him.

[charlotte49er]

Five years ago come November 17,I went into CMC Medical. Not because I was dying, but because of pain in my hips and I could no longer walk.

Walking had become very important in my life. Back in the mid-90's, I weighed 436 lbs! But I wasn't the large tub of goo that everyone thought I would/could be. Yes, I was large, size 60 waist pants, but I was also very muscular. But I took control, of my life and started walking. At first, it was to the end of the dead end street (About .4 miles) once a day. Then I started doing it twice a day. Morning before work and even when I got home. At the end of a year and a halk I was walking 4.5 miles in the morning and another 4.5 miles at night. In 18 months with a very controlling diet and walking and going to the gym 3-4 times a week. I became skinny! I weight 171 lbs, and wore a size 34 waist!

Then I got engaged and stopped walking twice a day, but wtill in the mornings. Iafter almost 10 years, I had put back on about 1/2 the weight. So after dumping 135 lbs over night. (Kicking the fiancee out!) I started walking again. This time I bought a weight bench for the house, instead of the gym. Again, hard diet and walking I went from 337 lbs to 204 lbs in about a year.

Anytime I wanted to lose the weight, I walked. My BP went down, my weight went down. My mental health went WAY up! Then November 15th, 2005 I was opening the kiosk for Dell Computer where I worked part time as a sale associate. (I also was a real estate broker for 1st Charlotte Properties.) I bent down to pick up a laptop computer there we alsays put away in a safe at night, and flet a stabbing pain in my hips. Long story short. I ruptured 2 disks in my back. I went from walking to not walking in 36 hours!

I have a point and I promise I'm getting to it. (In part 2)

[charlotte49er]

I said that I had a point, I'm not just rambling here. (I promise.)

As I'm laying on the table talking with Dr. Joe Bernard, he tells me I need immediate back surgery to have any chance of walking again! What do you say to this? Nah, I'm good! Of course you are going to say, "Let's do it!" (He had already scheduled a operating room! (I didn't want to disappoint him. LOL)

3 Days after surgery I was still in tremendous pain! They told me that it would get better and I was going to be moved to CMC Rehab. (BTW. I spent Thanksgiving lying flat on my back in CMC. Not a way I would recommend to anyone.

I figured that 20-25 days in rehab, I would walk out of there. (After all I went from walking to not walking in 36 hours.) After 2 days, I reality set in. I have a greater than 50% chance of not walking again! Something you have done since you were 1 year old and I was 48! That kind of slaps you in the face!

My Point! (I told you there was one!) I could have gotten mad, gone into a funk, had thougth of suicide, etc. It causes you to take stock of your life. Just like this guy did. (I'm NOT saying walking equates to dying of cancer!) But there are things that you take for granted walking. Reality #2. You have to plan everything! I was probably 2 years old when my Mom stopped laying out my clothes for the day. Now, I have to lay out everything down to my socks & underwear before I turn in at night! You can't simply jump into a car and go anywhere! Most car doors don't open wide enough to let me transfer into them! Going through doors with automatic closer can be a real chore! I can't go to friends homes, because they all have steps! On and on and on!

In the first 2 days of rehab, they send you to a psychologist. They want to judge your depression level, I guess. I had over a week to think about it. (Not walking.) The conclusion I reached was, okay, so I couldn't walk. God/Life whoever/whatever you believe in, just gave me a "Do over!" I just got a Big Time Mulligan! (Golfers will recognize this term!) I just was given the chance to take my life in a different direction! (I like to think I have.) They send you again before they release you. Just to judge your mental preparedness.

Almost 5 years later, I'm still in the wheelchair. Not everything I have tried has worked out, but that's okay. I can't do everything I could do when I could walk, but everything I love to do!

Revelation #1! It's also given me time to rethink my situation with women. EVERY relationship I have ever had, hasn't worked out. The one time I was married, she got it annuled after 6 months! (6 bloody months!) The rest have faired no better. I get bored, or a thousand different reasons. (I NEVER cheated though! Before I got to that point, I always ended it.) Usually , I worked to much! It's one thing to realize where you went wrong, but you have to realize how you can correct it!

There's a He** of alot less to argue about/over. But there is more to be passionate about! People you hated or disliked, You simply don't care about. A couple of my Girfriends that I wished dead, I'd probably wrap up in my arms if I ever got the chance. (OK, the last ex-fiancee, I wouldn't put my arms around. LOL)

[Liminy]

I'd probably make the same decision if I was that sports writer.