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My typical text message conversations with my mom


Awesomeness!!

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Me: Hey...I kno we don't go out ne more, but u give awesome (I say awesome a lot in real life) bjs and i was wondering if...u kno..u could...u know

Her: NO!

Me:awww :(...Y?

Her: Wat u mean Y? can u get one from som3on3 3lse? (no ideas why she replaced E's with 3's)

Me: Well sure, but i want one from u. u give the best bjs

her:well i guess im special then :)

Me:so....is that a yes or no?

her: i guess so

me: awesome....when?

her:after school monday

me: aight see u then :)

Real fuging conversation people.

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I was supposed to take the woman I'm seeing now how to a fancy dinner and drinking tonight...which is usually cool, because I'll get laid afterwards. However, after being married for years, I don't give a poo about making good on promises.

I wish I had the text saved, but this is pretty much how it went down earlier today:

Me: I don't feel like going out, why don't you cook me something.

Her: Ok? Why?

Me: I want you to make me some lasagna

Her: That sounds good...cook at your place or mine?

Me: Mine, I'm watching football, will you stop by the ABC store on the way?

Her: Sure, what time?

Me: Around 7

See, win/win. I get free home made cooked lasagna, free booze, and I still get laid. With the cherry on top being tomorrow is Panther gameday!! WOOHOO!!

Life is good right now.

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Me: Hey...I kno we don't go out ne more, but u give awesome (I say awesome a lot in real life) bjs and i was wondering if...u kno..u could...u know

Her: NO!

Me:awww :(...Y?

Her: Wat u mean Y? can u get one from som3on3 3lse? (no ideas why she replaced E's with 3's)

Me: Well sure, but i want one from u. u give the best bjs

her:well i guess im special then :)

Me:so....is that a yes or no?

her: i guess so

me: awesome....when?

her:after school monday

me: aight see u then :)

Real fuging conversation people.

I'm kind of hoping that a mod messed with this thread title. If not, this may be one of the creepiest things I've ever read :eek::eek:

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