Why Men are Seldom Depressed

[boo7382]

Probably has already been posted, but I got it in an email from a friend and thought you guys would definitely enjoy this little gem.

WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

Everything on your face stays its original color..

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look..

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

On December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

MONEY

· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

· A woman has the last word in any argument.

· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it.

And to the men who will enjoy reading it.

[JakeFlake]

we don't bleed from within

[Cat]

my phone conversations are under 30 secs. god i hate talking on the phone.

[Falcons1stPanthers2nd]

we don't bleed from within

Yeah i don't really believe in trusting anything that bleeds for 3 days and doesn't die.

[Dpantherman]

Couple of flaws:

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

I do have some standards here for public restrooms.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

our junk and our underwear have issues sometimes. tug and pull and/or do that thing with our legs.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

no comment

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

only when im talking to my boys. I don't really make many phone calls anyway

[Cat]

Yeah i don't really believe in trusting anything that bleeds for 3 days and doesn't die.

original

[Cat]

btw a guy that fits that description is pretty gross and way low maintenance.

[boo7382]

Yeah i don't really believe in trusting anything that bleeds for 3 days and doesn't die.

original

lol, I have this strange feeling that boys think its some sort of faucet that comes on and the floodgates are open for a straight 4-7 days. Nonstop bleeding.

FYI, that's not how it works.

[The Saltman]

I hate wrinkled clothes. Just saying.

[Zcustom]

I know nothing about tanks, c'mon!

[The Saltman]

Oh and I have 4 pairs of shoes

[Dpantherman]

Oh and I have 4 pairs of shoes

:leaving:

[The Saltman]

Ya I just bought a pair of steeled toes to kick your ass with.

[thefuzz]

Men are happier because we want to be.

Lot's of time women just think up reasons to bitch about something.