Jump to content

  • Welcome!

    Register and log in easily with Twitter or Google accounts!

    Or simply create a new Huddle account. 

    Members receive fewer ads , access our dark theme, and the ability to join the discussion!

     

Deadspin: why your team sucks 2014 Falcons and Bucs

FuFuLamePoo

By FuFuLamePoo,
in Carolina Panthers

Recommended Posts

FuFuLamePoo Mentor

FuFuLamePoo

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Predictions?

i expect our receivers, offensive line, and running backs all to take a hit. I bet he'll really focus in on the misconception that we had a disastrous offseason. (Even if he knows we didn't it's a parody article and he has to go off something). He'll also mention how the panthers tend to return to mediocrity for a few years after having a good season.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cbarrier90 Newbie

cbarrier90

Posted
Posted

Predictions?

 

- The 12-4 record was luck and we got all the breaks possible (kinda true) and will talk about the team getting eviscerated in the playoffs

 

- Ron Rivera will revert back to his old self. He will mock the fact that Mike Shula has a job by pointing out his Tampa record and stint at Alabama (also a fair point) 

 

- He will overstate the turnover in the WR corps and who we replaced it with.

 

- Something about JR's emotionless expression during the games and/or his history of "being cheap" and his role in the lockout

 

-You can copy and paste everything he said about Atlanta and Tampa area and fans and apply it to all of his Southeast cities.

 

- The fan emails will feature 1a. Guy who lives in the area that says no one cares, 1b. Guy who lives in the area that says everyone supports another team 2. Guy who wonders why he cares because of the stupid mistakes of management/ownership etc. 3. Guy who says the fanbase is full of idiots because they can't appreciate what they have in Kuechly, Newton, etc.

 

- He will mention Luke Kuechly and the call against the Patriots, but, in a rare twist, while he will take his shots at Cam Newton, he will also reference the Newton portion of Greg Howard's Deadspin article from last season about the history of black QB's in the NFL and how Cam Newton's mannerisms always make sportswriters and fans give dumb hot sports takes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
bababoey Enthusiast

bababoey

Posted
Posted

Best quote in the whole article about Atlanta is after the story, random  quotes from people:

 

"Andrew:

 

Atlanta has more people with Ebola than Super Bowl rings."

 

You know the CDC is there, you would think they could fix that.  Oh, yea, I forgot, they suck.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
L-TownCat Grand Master

L-TownCat

Posted
Posted

From the Bucs piece. 

 

Football-wise, the team cut ties with Darrelle Revis after burning two draft picks on him and handing him $16 million. Revis is now a Patriot, and of course he will instantly revert to All-Pro form now that he's out of Tampa. God goddamn you, Bucs. Stop handing New England good defensive backs for nothing. The Bucs tried to make up for Revis' loss by signing Mike Jenkins (who is fuging terrible) and Alterraun Verner (who cannot possibly be worse than Mike Jenkins). They also drafted receiver and world's greatest interview Mike Evans to help out Jike McGlenClown.

Also, Josh Freeman has died. I'm all but certain of it.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
London Loves Luke Newbie

London Loves Luke

Posted
Posted

- The 12-4 record was luck and we got all the breaks possible (kinda true) and will talk about the team getting eviscerated in the playoffs

 

- Ron Rivera will revert back to his old self. He will mock the fact that Mike Shula has a job by pointing out his Tampa record and stint at Alabama (also a fair point) 

 

- He will overstate the turnover in the WR corps and who we replaced it with.

 

- Something about JR's emotionless expression during the games and/or his history of "being cheap" and his role in the lockout

 

-You can copy and paste everything he said about Atlanta and Tampa area and fans and apply it to all of his Southeast cities.

 

- The fan emails will feature 1a. Guy who lives in the area that says no one cares, 1b. Guy who lives in the area that says everyone supports another team 2. Guy who wonders why he cares because of the stupid mistakes of management/ownership etc. 3. Guy who says the fanbase is full of idiots because they can't appreciate what they have in Kuechly, Newton, etc.

 

- He will mention Luke Kuechly and the call against the Patriots, but, in a rare twist, while he will take his shots at Cam Newton, he will also reference the Newton portion of Greg Howard's Deadspin article from last season about the history of black QB's in the NFL and how Cam Newton's mannerisms always make sportswriters and fans give dumb hot sports takes.

 

This was surprisingly good, you're on the wrong side of the keyboard buddy. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • PMH4OWPW7JD2TDGWZKTOYL2T3E.jpg

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • countryboi
      Brooks RB, Placed on PUP, Out for 2025

      By countryboi · Posted

      You joke, but it can always be worse. He might walk with a limp or need assistance. Different sport, but Lonzo Ball couldn't even walk up steps a year after his injury.
    • Icege
      Brooks RB, Placed on PUP, Out for 2025

      By Icege · Posted

      I mean... a lot of the information that could've helped set better expectations has always been out there: There was no RB on the team under contract for the 2025 - 2026 season except for Miles Sanders. The team did not have a second round pick going into the 2025 season due to the trade for Young. Chuba's extension did not happen until the beginning of November. Jonathon Brooks was the clear RB1 in the class with a massive gap between RB1 & RB2. Example: Dane Brugler had Brooks as RB1, overall #48; Blake Corum was RB2, #81 overall. The Giants held pick #47 and had just lost Saquon Barkley to the Eagles in free agency. They were going to take Brooks had the Panthers not jumped in front of them. So if we're framing things with that context: Chuba was expected to be RB1 Miles (at the time) was RB2 Brooks was essentially RB3, stashed for rehab in 2024 with a long runway. The original injury occurred Nov 2023 while the re-injury occurred December 2024. That is right in the high-risk window for recurrence, especially in explosive athletes. The fact that it also happened on a non-contact play suggests possible biomechanical issues such as muscle imbalance, rather than a failed surgery (or bad decision-making).   NFL teams invest heavily in medically vetting prospects. If there had been a clear red flag in imaging or recovery markers, the team is going to find it. This sucks and the Panthers have sucked, yes, but this wasn't blind optimism or malpractice by the front office. It was a calculated decision based on the roster, draft capital, positional scarcity, etc.
    • Navy_football
      Clowney released

      By Navy_football · Posted

      Yep, but they can all rotate with Brown, Brown and Robinson (sounds like a law firm). Can't continue to have Derrick Brown out there for 90+ percent of the defensive snaps. An injury was bound to happen. 
×
×
  • Create New...